Worst life hacks

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  • #1663068

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    What are the worst life hacks?

    #1663194

    Sam Klein
    Participant

    Drinking alcohol

    Smoking cigarettes

    Gambling your hard earned money and losing it all in a split second

    Look at the gifts Hashem gives YOU in your life and you won’t need these bad hacks in your life to hurt yourself

    #1663202

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Sam, those are not life hacks. Examples of bad life hacks:

    Sick of buttoning your coat? Go to Home Depot and buy some neodymium disc magnets. Sew them onto the coat in pairs so that your coat will close magnetically!

    Bad handwriting? To make your handwriting more intelligible, spell out your numbers and write each letter out fully in a phonetic alphabet. This may be difficult, but it gives people who read your work Charlie Oscar November Tango Echo X-Ray Tango to understand what you meant to say, just like it does when you’re speaking out loud!

    #1663355

    yitzyk
    Participant

    Duct Tape and Rags instead of a proper coat.

    A newspaper over your head instead of an umbrella.

    Washing Mayim Achronim with a cup of expensive scotch instead of water. (And do it on the floor under the table.)

    Parking by a hydrant or double parking instead of parking legally a block away.

    Using plain water instead of Anti-Freeze + water. OR using any wrong fluid in a car instead of the proper one (e.g. Motor Oil instead of Brake Fluid, Diesel Fuel instead of regular unleaded.)

    #1663414

    🐵 ⌨ Gamanit
    Participant

    there are a whole bunch of car ones that are literally the worst- don’t try any of these at home:

    Use hot water to quickly de-ice a windshield

    To keep your brakes from sticking oil the rotors

    Add some nails to each tire for better traction on ice

    Put a warm wet towel on your windshield overnight to keep it warm

    Keep your headlights on overnight to keep them from freezing over

    Put sandpaper on your windshield wipers to assist in ice removal

    Loosen your lug nuts in advance in case you end up getting a flat tire

    Block the exhaust pipe with a tennis ball to keep the car warmer (this one is extremely dangerous; for anyone not aware every year there are people who die from not shoveling snow away from the exhaust pipe prior to turning the engine on)

    #1664142

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Want your boss to believe you’re sick? Hire a special effects makeup artist to make you look ill.

    #1664185

    funnybone
    Participant

    Fry in a foil pan. Use a fork instead of a whisk. Warming up pizza in the microwave.

    #1664216

    ZionGate
    Participant

    Throwing bags of marshmellows at an aufruf instead of those filled with hard candies and walnuts.
    Substituting phony milk shakes for good old fashioned malteds.
    Eating farina and/or Rice Crispies in the morning and calling it breakfast.
    A certain company putting 3 oversalted potato chips in this jumbo air- puffed bag , charging almost 2$$ and labeling it “classic” .
    A museum’s display of a huge painting of a black background and very red in the middle, calling it art and charging $ 25 ” donation”.
    Suckers waiting in line to marvel at said masterpiece, pivoting their heads to various angles to better catch significance and meaning.
    Trying to explain something to some people whose ears have walls.

    #1664217

    ZionGate
    Participant

    … Shul bulletin announcing GALA KIDDUSH, knowing in advance it’ll consist of herring with toothpicks and duet malaga wine.
    …. Heimshe olam invitees all showing on time for a 7:00 sheva brochos call, spoiling all the fun.
    ….. Brooklynite who never shopped at at Pomegranate or Bingo and lives to tell about it.
    If these aren’t hacks, they ought to be.

    #1666056

    yitzyk
    Participant

    – Try adding soda flavoring to a SodaStream bottle prior to carbonating it – ignoring the multiple warnings on both the bottle and machine. A friend actually did this with spectacular results! The bottle exploded, sending soda to every square inch of the entire kitchen.

    – A nephew of mine learned the very hard way why never to try extinguishing an Oil Fire in a frying pan using water. Boruch Hashem he was not harmed, but he did need to buy a new stove and hood, and repair the wall behind it too. In short, the water turns to steam droplets, encapsulated by burning oil. It essentially creates an instant explosive fireball. People have gotten horribly burned by this mistake. Yet it is not something intuitive or so obviously stupid (like some of our other joke hacks,) so many people do not realize the danger. Mitzvah Lefarsem!

    – Put an incandescent lightbulb in the microwave to watch it glow.

    – Put a metal fork in the microwave to watch it spark.

    – Having to throw out the microwave with burnt holes in the walls from those two experiments, including a melted mass of metal that used to be a fork!

    #1666268

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    In order to qualify as a life hack, it has to be done for a purpose.

    #1688771

    For less destructive microwave abuse, use a raw egg in its shell.
    (For more destruction, use steel wool.)

    #1691352

    ovadyachill
    Participant

    Always running late? Eat breakfast the night before 🙂

    #1691397

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Lying awake at night thinking about your problems? Think about your passwords instead.

    #1691792

    speaking of passwords why are the suggested passwords on websites something like this HK%8okd!9uu who would rremember it?

    #1692884

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Haunted by nightmares of being attacked by stray cats? Volunteer with dogs at an animal shelter, and the cats may avoid you because of the scent.

    #1693185

    Put flour in the cholent to make your pot easier to clean.

    #1694602

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Want to do Purim shtick on the mods successfully? Invent a brilliant new life-changing invention, patent it, and become a billionaire. With a small donation of about $7 million, YWN would probably help with your schtick.

    #1774434

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Real love and commitment take years to develop, so for your first anniversary, get your spouse a card that says “I tolerate your presence in my life”.

    #1774453

    Lightbrite
    Participant

    Stuck in bumper to bumper traffic? Get a monster truck and plow right on through!***

    ***But make sure that every driver and passenger has exited each car beforehand, so as to avoid casualties

    #1774456

    Lightbrite
    Participant

    Are you having trouble getting over some sad news? Ruin your neighbor’s brand new pool with an alligator experiencing the stomach flu so that you’re not the only one crying!

    #1775104

    Lightbrite
    Participant

    Don’t have time to wash your car before work? Make the most of hurricane season by securing a colander to the roof of your car, filling it with car wash detergent, and driving around your city in the pouring rain. Make sure you get in an even amount of left and right turns, interchangeably. Don’t forget to stop abruptly three times to get a good front hood lather and rinse!

    #1775147

    Lightbrite
    Participant

    Forgot where you put your glasses yet again, and always snacking? Just glue your glasses to a fork. That way you’ll always have them on hand!

    #1775148

    Lightbrite
    Participant

    Did your key snap and get stuck in your ignition? Now it the time to make use of your alternative life skills. Just walk over to your neighbor’s car, hot wire it, and speed away!

    #1775149

    Lightbrite
    Participant

    Don’t have health insurance, but need a doctor? Write your medical needs with a Sharpie on your white shirt. Then run head first into a lightpole so the ambulance can pick you up while you’re unconscious. Just create a GoFundMe when you get the bill. Even if the hospital doesn’t take care of all of your medical needs, your inflated fundraising goal will cover your impending medical expenses.

    #1775673

    Lightbrite
    Participant

    Mosquitos in your house?

    Why pester yourself with a fly swatter, bug zapper, mosquito net, topical bug repellent, citronella (though I think that most citronella candles are for outdoor use only, and/or whatever else they’re selling today?!

    Do yourself a favor and just get yourself a gross of spiders for the weekend while you spend Shabbos in your local Super 13 motel. By the time you return, those pesky blood suckers will be gone. When you return to your home, just sweep up your full-bellied spiders and toss them into your backyard.
    rs!

    #1775678

    Lightbrite
    Participant

    Can’t afford to buy your kallah a fancy ring? No ring gemach in site? No worries! Buy a candy ring and then hop on over to Yuli’s Bakery. Your kallah will have an easier time adjusting to her heartbreak over a plate of German chocolate cake a la mode. Problem solved!

    #1776717

    Lightbrite
    Participant

    Can’t find your favorite pillowcase? Just cover your pillow with your favorite mustard.

    #1776716

    Lightbrite
    Participant

    Sick of wrapping your sushi in nori? Just wrap your sushi rolls in cellophane and bite in!

    #1776714

    Lightbrite
    Participant

    Ran out of clean socks? Just turn yesterday’s dirty socks inside out so you can wear them again today!

    #1776713

    Lightbrite
    Participant

    Did your pen leak through your purse? Throw that purse in the bonfire. In just a couple of minutes, no one will even notice.!

    #1776726

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Got acne? Cover it with shoe polish and nobody will be able to see it.

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