Young, newly-married couples making shidduchim

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  • August 14, 2011 8:48 pm at 8:48 pm #598622
    Toi
    Participant

    My marriage happens to be a product of my friend and my wife’s friend, who are a couple, setting us up. The issues, however, that surfaced during the process and couldn’t be dealt with without harming our friendships. What does the CR think about this issue. Should young couples pursue the title of shadchan at the very real risk of ruining a friendship.

    August 14, 2011 9:15 pm at 9:15 pm #797498
    golden mom
    Member

    i think its a great idea to try to match up your friends u both truly know each other and is not somebody stam matching up

    im not sure what could harm ur friendship when i set up anybody i also im trying my best no hard feelings and if it doesnt work out it is one closer>>

    August 14, 2011 9:39 pm at 9:39 pm #797499
    Stamper
    Member

    Toi: You are very unclear. What exactly are you saying?

    August 14, 2011 10:12 pm at 10:12 pm #797500
    real-brisker
    Member

    What does it have to do with young couples? Your question is about any freind making a shidduch.

    August 14, 2011 10:44 pm at 10:44 pm #797501
    deiyezooger
    Member

    Every shadchen takes the risk that people might get upset with them.

    August 15, 2011 1:30 am at 1:30 am #797502
    dbwcbb
    Member

    How about finding someone else to play active shadchan? The couple can mention it to someone else and let them take care of it if they’re afraid that it might interfere with their friendship

    August 15, 2011 5:22 am at 5:22 am #797503
    kapusta
    Participant

    I think its a great idea but both sides need to have a clear understanding that friendship and shadchan are two separate things.

    *kapusta*

    August 15, 2011 7:26 am at 7:26 am #797504
    Toi
    Participant

    k in theory its nice to split the titles. however freinds take it way more personally if you reject advice they give you about where to go, what the next step is and the like. obviously the decision is still yours and hopefuly their negative feelings wont impact your decision but that doesnt mean that the freindship wont suffer. mine did greatly. also, issues that a shadchan should be willing to raise to either side become much more touchy and personal. its not fun. does the possible gain outweigh the risk

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