Zivug Sheini shadchanim

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  • #1528556
    blishem
    Participant

    Why aren’t there any active shadchanim for zivug Sheiny that work with the heimeshe crowd? So many of us divorced men are sitting and waiting for months or maybe years till we finally hear a name of a woman. In most cases the woman declines either before or after the first date! It’s so hard for all of us!!!

    #1528661
    DaMoshe
    Participant

    Instead of sitting and waiting, why not get up and do some hishtadlus?

    #1528764
    Takes2-2tango
    Participant

    Plenty heimishe singles events available. Do your part and seek.

    #1528766
    blishem
    Participant

    @DaMoshe: with all respect I don’t think that your response was relevant at all.

    #1529507
    Health
    Participant

    blishem -“It’s so hard for all of us!!!”

    I agree. I’m divorced & I think that most divorced women don’t want to get married again!
    Women who are divorced are usually because of some sort of abuse. So they think bad of all men.

    #1529526

    Women who are divorced are usually because of some sort of abuse.

    In other words, most divorced men are abusers.

    And you say divorced women don’t want to get married? They should marry abusers?

    #1529539
    blishem
    Participant

    Leaving all kidding aside. The situation is very unfortunate. There aren’t any shadchanim around to help and the women aren’t willing to compromise, unless the guy is 100% perfect they wouldn’t go ahead.

    #1529605
    Health
    Participant

    DY -“They should marry abusers?”

    This is typical in the YWN (and elsewhere) – Miscruing statements!
    Do you know the difference between Most and ALL?!?

    #1545368
    David111
    Participant

    I divorced recently and haven’t started looking into Shidduchim yet. How big is the market out there?

    #1545373
    SMFG3
    Participant

    WHAT ABOUT FOR AN ALMAN AND ALMANAH

    #1545582

    Marital abuse is an ever changing norms .
    It means virtually whatever one , one’s relations,one’s society choose at the moment for it to mean or don’t want it mean
    Plus,It changes according to country and decade!

    Much of the basis behind females today complaints’ that they desire a real man and young males today “aren’t real men” is because so many boys and young men are so terrified afraid to act dominant and terrified to develop that, since they innately fear to be called abuser!

    A hyper femenized society (including our own millennials and gen X ) ,in a nutshell!

    #1545605
    Joseph
    Participant

    IITFT: Are you saying it’s about time for men to take charge again?

    #1546236
    MDG
    Participant

    “Are you saying it’s about time for men to take charge again?”

    If you want to take charge, be ready for all the name calling you’ll receive.

    #1546275
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    The reality is that a large percentage of divorces in the frum tzibur have nothing to do with “abuse” but simply reflect a greater acceptance of the reality that two people may not be emotionally suited for one another. While there is still a stigma on divorce, its not anything near what it was 10 or 20 years ago. There are frum websites and singles functions that are focused an older crowd. Friends may be aware of others in your situation and be willing to put you in touch. Your local rav/rebitzen and members of the family may also be willing to serve as an intermediary. But as others have noted, you have to be your own “shadchan” and take steps to get out in public and make people aware you are seeking to meet someone. They will not magically show up at your door.

    #1546262
    Joseph
    Participant

    Are you suggesting men shouldn’t be patriarchs and take charge, MDG?

    #1546317
    Takes2-2tango
    Participant

    Most divorces today in the heimish/ yeshivish crowd is because of money, social pressures and incompatibility issues.

    #1546423

    Unless one is in one of the attractive virtual “ideal” marriages, there’s a stigma for those who stay married.
    For the younger generations today, it has become inverted / reversed

    #1546429
    Joseph
    Participant

    IITFT: Can you please explain your last comment in a bit more detail?

    #1546605
    Health
    Participant

    T2-2T -“Most divorces today in the heimish/ yeshivish crowd is because of money, social pressures and incompatibility issues.”

    My divorce was caused by s/o else! All those so-called probs can be resolved, if both parties are interested in working on them.

    #1546974
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    When women say they want a real man, they mean they want to be financially supported and they don’t want to be the ones killing all the spiders.

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