Video Of Interest: Army Draft & The Shidduch Crisis – Purim Torah 5774 by HaRav Zev Leff



  1. The following is text to his Dvar Torah:
    אשת חיל מי ימצא means that there were no חילים because you could not find the wife of a חיל, and obviously there were no חילים. It is as if רבות בנות עשו חיל a lot of women made shidduchim with חילים. If it is אשת חיל מי ימצא, then how can it be רבות בנות עשו חיל?
    Maybe you can say פשוט that it means something different: אשת חיל מי ימצא – there were no men who were חילים, but רבות בנות עשו חיל – a lot of girls became חילות.
    לכאורה, it is אסור יהרוג ואל יעבור the חזון איש says for a woman to become a חילת because אין דרכה של אשה לכבוש. So how can a lot of girls become חילות?
    Maybe it is talking about the שאלה of כיבוש יחיד שמי כבוש או לא שמי כיבוש, meaning the following: if you hold that כיבוש יחיד is שמי כבוש, then it is not the דרך for an individual women to be כובש. Therefore women can be חילות.
    If you hold כיבוש יחיד is לא שמי כיבוש only כיבוש רבים, then לכאורה for a whole group of women it is not such an ענין for it not to be a דרך for a lot of women to be כובש. So therefore, maybe מגילה held that or maybe שלמה המלך held that כיבוש רבים is שמי כיבוש, and כיבוש יחיד is לא שמי כיבוש. Therefore it is possible for a women to become a חילת. Therefore the חזון איש held that כיבוש יחיד שמי כבוש, and therefore a women can not be a חילת. However, למעשה we do not hold like that: we hold that כיבוש יחיד is לא שמי כיבוש. That is why it is the חזון איש and not the חזון אנשים because he only held of כיבוש יחיד. That is why he takeh says רבות בנות עשו חיל – a יחידה – one בת can’t be a חיל, but רבות בנות עשו חיל – only כיבוש רבים.
    למעשייה, it is clearly not like that because the מגילה paskens בפירוש that כיבוש יחיד is שמי כבוש
    because it says “הגם לכבוש את המלכה עמי בבית” – and there it was כיבוש יחיד and it was called כיבוש.
    למעשייה, even אסתר proves that כיבוש יחיד שמי כיבוש because the גמרא says that
    אסתר ירקרוקת היתה (מגילה יג)
    אסתר was a vegetable, and we know that what do you do with ירקות? You pickle them. So she was כבוש, and she was only כיבוש יחיד. So אסתר was a pickle who was כבוש and כבוש יחיד שמי כיבוש.
    למעשייה, you can’t either say that whatever the חזון איש held, they did not hold like that in מגילה because it says בפירוש:
    “לעשות כרצון איש” – that they did takeh like the חזון איש. So למעשייה that can’t be פשט in the פסוק.
    Maybe the פשט is like this: because there were רבות בנות עשו חיל, it does not say that they became חילות, but also חיל. Since there is a shidduch crisis, there are a lot of girls who can’t get married, and why because boys do not get married since they are learning they do not get married until they are older. They only want younger girls. The girls who are the same age do not get married because the older boys do not want to marry older girls. They want to marry the younger girls, so all those older girls do not get married. Since there is a problem of רבות בנות, because a lot of girls can not get married, so they decided עשו חיל – they decided that instead of learning, guys should go into the army. Go into the army at 20 and get married earlier. In this way, it would solve the shidduch problem.
    That is why haman also, he wanted to destroy כלל ישראל, but he had a ספק how to do it: could he agree with these girls, that all the guys should go into the army and that way it is the same thing as destroying כלל ישראל, or better to destroy them למעשייה. That is why he “כתב לאבדם”: there are two גירסות there: one is with an alef, and one is with an eyin. Either he wanted to destroy them completely if he could not get them to stop learning, but if he could get them to stop learning and go to work or go into the army, then he would not have to destroy them completely that would destroy them anyway. So therefore haman had a safek, and that is why למעשייה, it says in the beginning of the מגילה:
    “חיל פרס ומדי” – This is משמע that the only ones in the army were the גוים פרס ומדי. In the end of the מגילה it says, “חיל כל עם ומדינה” – The מדינה also went into the army. למעשייה משמע that these girls had some kind of success in getting the guys into the army so that they can get married younger.
    haman himself held that it would not work because haman himself was a soldier. How do you know haman was a soldier? It says “חיל פרס ומדי הפרתמים ושרי המדינות.” It says by haman that he was a שר:
    “וישם את כסאו מעל כל השרים” – So haman was part of the army, and still haman did not marry somebody older than him; he married somebody younger than him. How do you know that? because it says that he married זרש.
    זרת ארכו וזרת רכבו besides the fact that we know when haman married זרש, she was only three years old. How do you know that? It says “ויספר המן לזרש אשתו” – he gave her a haircut. Now why in the world would it mention in the מגילה that haman gave his wife a haircut? It must mean that he gave her a חלקה when she was three. However, we know that only boys have חלקהs? That is only בזמן הזה, where the מנהג is that girls have long hair and boys have short hair. So at three years old when the זמן comes you make a חילוק between a boy and a girl, so you give the boy a short haircut to show that he is a boy. That is the ענין of a חלקה. In those days, it was just the opposite: men had long hair and girls had short hair. How do I know that? It says אחשוירוש had tremendously long hair. It says “כל עבדי המלך היושב בשער המלך” – all of his עבדים were able to sit in his hair. It says “מרדכי יושב בשער המלך” – even מרדכי was there in his hair. So אחשוירוש had a lot of hair. Maybe אחשוירוש was a נזיר? No! we can’t say that because
    “כטוב לב המלך ביין.” So אחשוירוש of course drank wine; he was not a נזיר. It must mean that in those days, the מנהג was for men to have long hair, and the women did not have long hair. A ראייה ברורה, it says ושתי did not want to come to אחשוירוש either because פרחה בה צרעת – on her forehead she had צרעת, or a קרן horn went out. לכאורה, if she had long hair, what wa the big deal, she could cover it with her hair? It must mean that women back then had very short haircuts, and therefore she could not cover צרעת and cover the קרן with her hair.