#avoidances enabled

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  • #614720

    #I recently flew in to the tri-state area to date a guy. He was suggested to me by a shadchan and we did a lot of information about him. My ticket was very expensive being that it was last minute.

    TO put it mildly and nicely, he was downright slow.

    The things he said and did on that date were so obviously off.

    And the part that bothered me so much about this, was, what were the references thinking when they said info about him???

    I’m not an einstein, but I am an intelligent girl, and this guy did not have basic comprehension abilities….

    So, my three questions are

    1. Why are the references lying???

    2. what can I do to avoid this happening again?

    3. What are great key questions to ask about a boy?

    #1054778
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Maybe he was nervous?

    #1054779

    #DY, That is a possibility, but I have gone out with guys who were clearly nervous, but this was VERY different… He also had a obvious medical issue that I wasn’t told about, and I asked…

    #1054780

    #I would give examples, but there is a slight chance he is reading this, and I don’t want to hurt anyone. He was sweet, but clearly not your typical, and I hope he finds someone really nice, and meant for him…

    But, now I am a bit scarred…

    #1054781
    oyyoyyoy
    Participant

    Were the references asked specifically about intelligence?

    #1054782

    #yes

    #1054783
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    He might have been drugged.

    #1054785
    the plumber
    Member

    Hashtagposter

    1) not really. They just put the good reerences on the resume (dis u ever put a boss who fired tou on your bus resume. They dont lie, just beat around the bush

    2) dont date

    3) date like a goy (meaning dont necesarily go in asking abt marriage, just get comfortable with the person)

    No need to get “married” after the first date, you have plenty of time to ask those questions later

    #1054786
    Little Froggie
    Participant

    Should have asked us first

    (maybe it was your hashtags that did it)

    #1054787
    ED IT OR
    Participant

    why did you fly out to meet him? shouldnt it be reversed?

    #1054788
    Joseph
    Participant

    Why should it be reversed?

    #1054789
    A jew who cares
    Participant

    Because that’s the way it usually goes.

    The girls always have to run after the boys to get a date. The least the boys can do to compensate is to meet in the girls town.

    #1054791
    Joseph
    Participant

    I don’t think there’s any usual. Sometimes he goes to her town and sometimes she to his. There’s no rule on this.

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