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1. Bar Shattya
   Official Dolt of the CR

   I have noticed this trend recently and I think its appalling. I'm a bit disgusted to find bnai torah so concerned with how their friends will see their wives.

   In my days it was good enough that a woman be a big baalas midos, a huge baalas chassed, a gargantuan machshiv torah, and most importantly to be her husbands biggest fan. Unfortunately, today eichah a woman like that is yushvuh buddud. The dor we live in is a terrible dor. In fact its the worst dor i ever lived in. I spit on this dor.

   I am talking about bnai torah who seem more concerned about what their friends will think when they see their wife than whether she is the right person for THEM.

   One can just imagine the thoughts going through his mind as he struts with his prize-winning wife out of yeshiva on shabbos morning:

   "Look at me. Look who I am. I'm such a baal mussar. I've spent years toiling in torah, working on myself to get to this point. I think only of pnimius. I deserve a wife who everyone will look at and know that I will be the next gadol hador. I have got the fattest wife in town."

   Posted 10 months ago #

2. choppy
   How Much Wood Can Joseph Chop If Joseph Could Get Away From The Coffee Room

   http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/trophy-wives-2

   Posted 10 months ago #

3. kingdavid
   Member

   In these times we need to speek and write only the true good of our dor.

   there has never been a dor with so much chesed...

   there has never been a dor with so many nisyonos and still stand so strong...

   there has never been a dor wit so much torah...

   moshiach will come to us - very soon

   Posted 10 months ago #

4. Medium Size Shadchan
   Member

   "Azoi vi es goyisht zich azoi yiddisht zich"

   Monkey see, monkey do.

   Many among us vie for the ~supposed~ good life, chock full of eye candy, coupled with all the comforts of life, all being portrayed as the recipe for happiness, self worth and social success in secular media.

   Posted 10 months ago #

5. The Goq™
   Founder, President, Vice President and CEO of the CR Welcome Wagon!

   Happy Bain Hazmanin Bar shattya.

   Posted 10 months ago #

6. coffee addict
   Once killed a Troll with his bare hands

   thank you choppy it seems like BS (pun intended) was the first reply to that one so he should've known about it

   Secondly, when did he get married without telling us?

   Posted 10 months ago #

7. yeshivishsocrates
   Member

   Are we serious? How is it that youre so in touch with the motivations for and selection process involved in bnei torah choosing their wives? a man must be attracted to his wife, perhaps this was his motivation for choosing her? Or, equally likely, perhaps it was a pleasant extra on a baalas midos with all of your listed qualities?

   if i may venture a suggestion, maybe you should consider spending less time checking out the wives of bnei torah and focus on becoming a ben torah... i believe this to be the bigger lesson from your post.

   Posted 10 months ago #

8. Bar Shattya
   Official Dolt of the CR

   yeshivishsocrates
   Attracted doesn't mean attracted to how ones friends will look at his decision.

   Posted 10 months ago #

9. yeshivishsocrates
   Member

   but how can you possibly know that that was his motivation, the evidence in front of you is a man with a woman who you have deemed attractive. Does not this sound like you could possibly be jumping to conclusions? perhaps looking with an eye to cynical for a ben torah? Your brother was so quick to jump to your defence but i dont mean to criticise, au contraire my good friend, i seek to increase judging favourably.

   Posted 10 months ago #

10. Chacham
    not Joseph

    In my dor all anyone looked for was a dolt

    Posted 10 months ago #

11. chassidishY.U.type
    Member

    the people you're speaking about are not bnei torah. they only look like it externally.

    Posted 10 months ago #

12. The Chassidishe Gatesheader
    Member

    I never thought like that and don't recall ever having met anyone who did. I guess I don't associate with such people.

    Posted 10 months ago #

13. yekke2
    Member

    Guys - i think you've all got the wrong end of the stick. Bar Shatya is making a point completely the opposite - how people don't marry attractive wives because they are scared they will be labelled trophy wives, and prefer the opposite kind.

    NOTE:

    I think only of pnimius. I deserve a wife who everyone will look at and know that I will be the next gadol hador. I have got the fattest wife in town.

    Posted 10 months ago #

14. miritchka
    Member

    I always knew that looks are important to men. But this thread is scaring the daylights out of me! Why would a man want other men to check out his wife?! A woman should always dress in a way that is pleasing to her husband, but to attract the attention of other men?! I'm glad i'm not their wife!

    Posted 10 months ago #

15. coffee addict
    Once killed a Troll with his bare hands

    I'm at least glad BS has only one month of Bein Hazmanim in the summer

    Posted 10 months ago #

16. Medium Size Shadchan
    Member

    yekke2:

    "Guys - i think you've all got the wrong end of the stick. Bar Shatya is making a point completely the opposite - how people don't marry attractive wives because they are scared they will be labelled trophy wives, and prefer the opposite kind".

    Funnyyyyy. Very rare. I havent heard one guy tell me or any other Shadchan that they want a heavy or unattractive wife.

    Posted 10 months ago #

17. ohr chodesh
    Ain Chadash Tachas HaShemesh - Joseph

    MSS: I'm seeking a heavy wife.

    How many candidates can you send my way?

    Posted 10 months ago #

18. Medium Size Shadchan
    Member

    oc, "MSS: I'm seeking a heavy wife.

    How many candidates can you send my way"?

    Many more than you need, unfortunately.

    Posted 10 months ago #

19. 557
    Member

    I always knew that looks are important to men. But this thread is scaring the daylights out of me! Why would a man want other men to check out his wife?! A woman should always dress in a way that is pleasing to her husband, but to attract the attention of other men?! I'm glad i'm not their wife!

    There needs to be a delicate balance. In general, what is attractive to her husband will also be attractive to other men as well.

    The woman must not dress provocatively, and other men must control their yetzer haras. What that balance is exactly... well, I suppose it depends on who you ask.

    Posted 10 months ago #

20. on the ball
    Member

    Bar Shattya - the irony of your piece has been lost on nearly everybody here

    Posted 10 months ago #

21. bpt
    never caustic

    If I had to use a guidline, the one Johnny Lingo used to choose his wife would be a good place to start.

    ==============================================

    "I'm seeking a heavy wife."

    Fret not, OC.. heavy is just around the corner!

    Posted 10 months ago #

22. Bar Shattya
    Official Dolt of the CR

    I think so too. Now you see why I hate this dor.

    Posted 10 months ago #

23. WolfishMusings
    The Wolf

    Now you see why I hate this dor.

    That's okay. We don't hate you back.

    The Wolf

    Posted 10 months ago #

24. charlie brown
    Member

    Bar Shattya - I was rolling from your OP. Deserves post of the century award for the irony and wit it contains. Its a shame it went over most people's heads though, or as areivim would say, it went 747. (areivim, if you're lurking was that shout out enough to get you to come visit?)

    Posted 10 months ago #

25. yekke2
    Member

    Funnyyyyy. Very rare. I havent heard one guy tell me or any other Shadchan that they want a heavy or unattractive wife.

    Sorry, this wasn't my idea. I was just explaining what Bar Shattya wrote - with brilliant wit, i believe - which apparently was missed by most people. Poppa, Charlie Brown and On the Ball all got the joke [or rant, if he really is crackers].

    +1 Bar Shattya!!!

    For those of you still not following: Read through the OP's rant, and then re-read it. Take a deep breath and count till ten. Then, read again the last paragraph, about the guy thinking to himself. Penny's dropped???

    Posted 10 months ago #

26. popa_bar_abba
    Incorrigible; semi-retarded; eccentric; perhaps a man; somewhere between mean and average; sometimes only a bit over the top; arbitrarily cynical.

    Poppa, Charlie Brown and On the Ball all got the joke

    To be fair, I was sitting next to him.

    [or rant, if he really is crackers]

    This is more accurate.

    Posted 10 months ago #

27. mw13
    Member

    Wow, are people really taking this seriously?

    Posted 10 months ago #

28. Syag Lchochma
    Tell it to me, and I will tell you if it's Loshon Hara :)

    Chuck -You really think we didn't get it?

    Posted 10 months ago #

29. charlie brown
    Member

    syag, of course you got the joke, I never doubted you would with your keen wit and intellect (unsolicited compliment for ya as per your request last week).

    I was referring to most of the previous posters on this thread (other than Goq, yekke and on the ball) who were criticizing him for valuing looks over hashkafos. (I suppose I should be dan lkaf zchus that they got the joke but were trying to out-troll the troll).

    popa - you were sitting next to him teaching him how to start a popa troll thread? Can I join this course?

    Posted 10 months ago #

30. Syag Lchochma
    Tell it to me, and I will tell you if it's Loshon Hara :)

    :)

    Posted 10 months ago #

31. popa_bar_abba
    Incorrigible; semi-retarded; eccentric; perhaps a man; somewhere between mean and average; sometimes only a bit over the top; arbitrarily cynical.

    But who was teaching whom?

    Posted 10 months ago #

32. akuperma
    Member

    Why would anyone want a trophy that you can't display?

    Posted 10 months ago #

33. Kozov
    Member

    I have noticed this trend recently and I think its appalling. I'm a bit disgusted to find bnai torah so concerned with how their friends will see their wits.

    In my days it was good enough that a guy be a big baal midos, a huge baal chassed, a gargantuan machshiv torah, and most importantly to be his friends biggest fan. Unfortunately, today eichah a guy like that is yushvuh buddud. The dor we live in is a terrible dor. In fact its the worst dor i ever lived in. I spit on this dor.

    I am talking about bnai torah who seem more concerned about what their friends will think when they see their wits than whether it is the right way to utilize it for THEM.

    One can just imagine the thoughts going through his mind as he types his mind-bending chapp on yeshivawn/cr on tuesday morning:

    "Look at me. Look who I am. I'm such a baal mussar. I've spent years toiling in torah, working on myself to get to this point. I think only of pnimius. I deserve a post everyone will look at and know that I will be the next gadol hador. I'm such a troll."

    Posted 10 months ago #

34. Health
    Member

    ohr chodesh -"MSS: I'm seeking a heavy wife.
    How many candidates can you send my way?"

    Seriously, after living in Lakewood many years and seeing many newlyweds, most look for attractive wives. After a few years you can't tell anymore what the guy wanted. The ones that marry the ugly, fat ones is usually due to money that they get; but of course not always. Not e/o in this world is shallow, just most!

    Posted 10 months ago #

35. No One Mourns The Wicked
    No one - except Yankee fans

    Medium Size Shadchan:

    "oc, "MSS: I'm seeking a heavy wife.

    How many candidates can you send my way"?

    Many more than you need, unfortunately."

    I'm sorry, you don't deserve to be a shadchan.

    Posted 10 months ago #

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