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Gettysburg Address
English Version
Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this…The world will little note nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here for the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us–that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of their devotion– that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain–that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom–and that the government of the people, by the people, and for the people, shall not perish from the earth.
Yeshivish Translation
Be’erech a yoivel and a half ago, the meyasdim shtelled avek on this makom a naiya malchus with the kavana that no one should have bailus over their chaver, and on this yesoid that everyone has the zelba zchusim. We’re holding by a geferliche machloikes being machria if this medina, or an andere medina made in the same oifen and with the same machshovos, can have a kiyum. We are all mitztaref on the daled amos where a chalois of that machloikes happened in order to be mechabed the soldiers who dinged zich with each other. We are here to be koiveia chotsh a chelek of that karka as a kever for the bekavodike soldiers who were moiser nefesh and were niftar to give a chiyus to our nation. Yashrus is mechayev us to do this…Lemaise, hagam the velt won’t be goires or machshiv what we speak out here, it’s zicher not shayach for them to forget what they tued uf here. We are mechuyav to be meshabed ourselves to the melocha in which these soldiers made a haschala–that vibalt they were moiser nefesh for this eisek, we must be mamash torud in it–that we are all mekabel on ourselves to be moisif on their peula so that their maisim should not be a bracha levatulla– that Hashem should give the gantze oilam a naiya bren for cheirus– that a nation that shtams by the oilam, by the oilam, by the oilam, will blaib fest ahd oilam.
Pledge of Allegiance
English Version
I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
Yeshivish Translation
“I am meshabed myself, b’li neder, to hold shtark to the siman of the United States of America and to the medina which is gufa its tachlis; one festa chevra, b’ezras Hashem, echad ve’yuchid, with simcha and erlichkeit for the gantza oilam.”
This is cute but it belongs in the joke section.
p.s. If his address was so long how did he get any mail?
Lol
this is plagiarism and it is not proper to quote this without attributing the source. Not only is is unethical from the terms of the secular world where people who have passed off others work as their own have been fired, but Chazal were there first.
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“Someone who says something in the name of one who said it – brings redemption to the world.”
This is printed in a a book called Frumspeak which was published by Aronson.
That being said it was funny to remember this old joke.
Yeshivish is a vadeh a chashuveh lashon bfnei atzmo lgavi Talmud Toireh Lishmah for Bnei Torah who are mchuyav in such a heleige and chashuveh Mitzva. This is such a pashute and emesdicha zach that lifnei Aniyas Daati that I am msupak if it is mechzie kbitul zman or bital zman mamash in even raising such a chakirah that is pashut ubarur a chakirah bli nafke minah lchatcilah or bdieved.
Takeh, one could kler a nafkeh minah that lgavi Bnei Toireh, a chisaron of Yeshivish is lmashul like an esroig chaser-al po Shitas HaRitva-such a esrog lacks the Shem Esrog-al achas kamah vkamah-such a Ben Toireh is missing a cheftzah that defines the Chalos Shem Ben Toireh. It should be davar pashut that such a cheftza also requires a gavra with suitable levush. OTOH, nashim who are patur Lgamri from the heilige mitzvah have no shaicus to this chakirah lgamri!
1) If a drop of milk falls onto a kli, it is a sofek how far it will spread. 2) A sofek Rabim is a sofek to the whole generation, a sofek yachid is where there are some people who are knolagable about the sofek. 3) We are meikil in a sofek rabim in that it can be combined with a second sofek to make a sofek s’feka thereby permitting something which may have otherwise been forbidden. 4) We are machmir in a sofek yachid because the facts are knowable; we simply haven’t ascertained them. 5) We need 60 times 61 minus a bit to mevatel the drop (and not just 60 times 60) because 1. The drop spreads in the wall to osser (a little less than) 60 times itself. That plus the drop make a little less than 61. 2. This 61 ossurs 60 times itself. 3. Thus we need 60 times (a little less than) 61 to mevatel the drop. 6) Because of the sofek yachid, we have to be choshesh for the worst-case scenario when a drop of milk falls onto a meat pot. Thus when the drop falls on the raikan we assume the drop spreads up to 60 times itself in the raikan area — thereby making the largest issur of ChaNaN in the kli.
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