I'm afraid it will be Popa

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  • #607929

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    So I was setting up my sister’s friend with this guy I know. And my sister’s friend tells me that she is afraid to date, because she’s always afraid that she will end up dating Popa.

    So I told her that Popa would never agree to date her because she is fat. Now she’s mad at me, and doesn’t even know that I’m Popa.

    I wonder why she was more scared of dating Popa than of her shadchan being Popa.

    (BTW: She isn’t really fat; I was just trying to help her anxiety. See also http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/popas-reflections-on-motzaei-shabbos-haazinu#post-306622 at point 2.)

    #967928

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    So I told her that Popa would never agree to date her because she is fat. Now she’s mad at me, and doesn’t even know that I’m Popa.

    When you called her fat, she probably realized that you’re Popa.

    #967929

    Curiosity
    Participant

    If you weren’t as funny as you are, I would say I think I just figured out who you are… but then it would be meaningless.

    #967930

    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    I imagine she must have realized you’re Popa by now.

    #967931

    WIY
    Member

    Are you also funny in real life as a person or is it only online when you can be anonymous?

    #967932

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Are you also funny in real life as a person or is it only online when you can be anonymous?

    All my friends know my handle; I’m not quite anonymous. (Yes, if you don’t know my handle, you are probably not my friend.)

    #967933

    ThePurpleOne
    Member

    im so confused how popas brain works.. it just doesnt make the least bit of sense…

    #967934

    YW Moderator-42
    Moderator

    When he gets engaged to ur sis than u can find out!!!

    #967935

    superme
    Member

    This is really very funny can’t believe you said that Popa but good going 😉

    #967936

    WIY
    Member

    Happy bump Popa thread day

    #967937

    goodgirl94
    Member

    u don’t ever tell a girl she’s fat. never, ever, ever.

    #967938

    WIY
    Member

    goodgirl94

    “u don’t ever tell a girl she’s fat. never, ever, ever.”

    Why not? Maybe she doesnt know?

    #967939

    Believe me, she knows.

    And if she’s not fat, she thinks she is. She doesn’t need any comments about her weight, even positive ones.

    #967940

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    u don’t ever tell a girl she’s fat. never, ever, ever.

    What if she’s pregnant?

    #967941

    If you’re a male and not married to her, you don’t comment on her body. End of story.

    If you are married to her and you absolutely must, must comment on her body (inadvisable) don’t tell her she’s fat, for heaven’s sake! Tell her she is “glowing”, or whatever narishkeit people generally say to pregnant women.

    #967942

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    If you’re a male and not married to her, you don’t comment on her body. End of story.

    But what if you’re a shachan and that’s your job??

    #967943

    How many male shadchanim do you know? And since when is it a shadchan’s job to comment on women’s bodies? The LAST thing a shadchan should be doing is asking a girl to change in order to meet a guy. If she has to change something fundamental about herself in order for him to want her, then it’s just not shayich.

    #967944

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    The LAST thing a shadchan should be doing is asking a girl to change in order to meet a guy. If she has to change something fundamental about herself in order for him to want her, then it’s just not shayich.

    Ok, that’s fair as a general statement. But what if she is fat?

    #967945

    🐵 ⌨ Gamanit
    Participant

    Well, you can tactfully say that popa generally only dates girls that are a bit thinner.

    #967946

    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    So I told her that Popa would never agree to date her because she is fat

    I had my daughter put on a few pounds for just that reason. She may be fat, but she’s safe.

    #967947

    rebdoniel
    Member

    Syag, LOL.

    I think that weight and shidduchim is obviously a very sensitive area. But, do keep in mind, that there is somebody for everyone. I’ve recently made great efforts to change my habits (hence the dearth of recipes. I’ve lately been eating simply) for my own sake, but also to facilitate shidduchim, so as to not be limited to heavier women.

    #967948

    Toi
    Participant

    syag- +1, im gonna have my daughter pack on some pounds, thanks for the idea.

    #967949

    If she is “fat” (a subjective term) and is motivated to lose weight on her own, great. If she’s not, and decides to lose weight only for the purpose of getting married, she will promptly gain it back after the wedding. And if this guy really doesn’t find larger women attractive, they will have a problem. Better for her to stay as she is and wait for a guy who appreciates her size.

    #967950

    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    What if you’re a doctor, don’t you have to tell a girl if she is fat?

    #967951

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    I had my daughter put on a few pounds for just that reason. She may be fat, but she’s safe.

    She’s only safe if you use honest shadchanim. Better ask them.

    #967952

    A good doctor is well aware of what anorexia and other eating disorders can do to a girl and will therefore not say anything to a teen or young adult about her weight, unless the girl is grossly obese. A better tactic, if the doctor is concerned about a girl’s weight, would be to ask the mother privately about what she serves her children and make appropriate suggestions based on that information.

    Regardless, it is better for girls to have female doctors wherever possible.

    #967953

    🐵 ⌨ Gamanit
    Participant

    jewishfeminist02- I see nothing wrong with a doctor recommending a nutritionist to a patient.

    #967954

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    A better tactic, if the doctor is concerned about a girl’s weight, would be to ask the mother privately about what she serves her children and make appropriate suggestions based on that information.

    Well, what if the mother is also fat? And what if the mother is the doctor? And what if the doctor is also fat? And what if the mother is the doctor is also fat?

    See, there are so many situations that could come up. We really shouldn’t make any overly expansive and broad rules for the masses about such a weighty topic.

    #967955

    ObstacleIllusion
    Participant

    I had a mishna berura teacher, (not a rebbi) in high school who told us about his cousin. She (the cousin) was apparently grossly obese, she had trouble getting married, she finally got married to a man of similar weight. During Shana Rishona, she started losing weight, by their second anniversary, she had become a fit, health-obsessed, petite woman and filed for divorce. A story.

    #967956

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    For the record:

    My last post was very funny. Any of you who didn’t get it are a bunch of stupid idiots. Except for the one who told me over the phone that you did got it.

    #967957

    I thought it was funny. That’s why I stopped arguing.

    #967958

    rebdoniel
    Member

    ObstacleIllusion,

    I’ve recently changed my lifestyle (accounting for the dearth of recipes on my part) in order to avoid a situation like that of the poor hatan in your story!

    #967959

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Thanks JF, did you catch the double meaning in “masses”?

    #967960

    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    I also liked “overly expansive”, “broad”, and “weighty”.

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