I dated a certain guy alittle while back aproximately almost a year ago... For what ever reason he decided to drop the shidduch. I was extremely hurt back then, I don't think I have been hurt that deeply in my entire life. the type of angiush that I felt, I can't even begin to describe. Anyway life carried on I dated others since then and eventually this guy just about left my mind... Although everytime I am reminded of that rejection, the hurt replenishes itself into the depths of my soal.
2 nights ago I had a dream, that is kind of a little vauge now...In my dream I was married with aproximately 3 kids. this guy's sister who I dated was living in the apartment above/below-(can't remeber the exact detail) mine, with about 5 kids. (please note over here that I don't really have anything to do with his sister in real life). In midst of some sort of conversation between both of us I said a comment that really hurt her. In my dream I was able to see the extremities of the pain that I caused her... No matter how many times I asked her for mechila she could not possibly rid herself the anguish she felt toward me. Throughout the duration of my sleep, I felt the guilt rising up from beneith my bones. I felt terrible..To cut a long story short, Eventually she disapeared from my life...-I never had the chance to get a sincere mechila...-
I felt this dream was a matona from hashem. We never know why certain things occur. Now that I'm replaying my expirience from aproximately a year ago, the hurt still relinquishes itself, with a twingle of reassurance that every detail is for a devine purpose.