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is is possible for someone to be your bashert but at the same time u don’t deep down want to marry them ,just all the signs are saying that even so hashem wants to put you together ???
I’m not touching this thread with a 10 foot pole. Go ask your therapist
Agree.
just all the signs are saying that even so hashem wants to put you together ???
In your scenario, one very important sign is saying the opposite.
I cant really explain the situation
Then you should get advice from someone who understands the situation.
No, sorry, you’re not making too much sense
It seems like you feel that a person is really your type, but not your level of frumkeit and are wondering if that person is your bashert.
why are you so complicated?
if you like him marry him.
(I think you’re a girl)
Thinking someone’s a girl is neither stupid nor brilliant.
I’m referring to your asking advice from people you admit you can’t explain your question to.
(That’s aside from asking advice from random people on the internet.)
Don’t think “bashert” are you compatible? Can you marry him/her at their level now?
R’ Trollish strikes again!
A long while ago, I wondered if I would be interested in my beshert. Then I settled for someone who wasn’t exactly for me. We broke up. That was years ago. From what I learned over time, the important thing is that you both have common values and goals, for example, do you want a big family, or small one? Plus, see if you feel some emotional connection. This usually grows over time. If you deep down don’t want to be with them, don’t. But talk with a mentor or rabbi first.
This sounds like it may be a case of infatuation.
Here’s my syllogism:
1) Everyone has a bashert
2) Some people don’t want to get married
3) Ergo, some people don’t want to marry their bashert
About 15 years ago, I was privileged to sit near R. Noach Weinberg ZT”L at a dinner.
During the course of the dinner, a young lady approached him and asked him how a person recognises their basheert. (Although I did not know this young lady, the impression that I got was that she was quite desperate to get married).
R. Noach answered her and said that the Gemara tells us that Esav was the basheert of Leah (Rashi says as much in Chumash) and that Leah cried (until her eyes were tender) and merited not to marry her basheert!
He then advised her to go find a frum boy who knows what marriage is all about!
Anonymous123, don’t look for signs. Be guided by your seichel. If there is something wrong, go discuss it with someone who truly understands these issues and has your interests at heart. Be prepared to walk-away, if so advised. Remember, you are the one who will live with the consequences of the decisions you make.
Hatzlocha Rabbah!
Great story, ABS_SA!
the brisker rov in this weeks parsha says, although eliezer had so many nissim happening to him asisting him in finding out that rivka was the one for yitzchok, yitzchok didnt only rely on that. Rather, yitzchok waited until he saw that her actions were in the ways of his mother sarah and only then did he go for it.
that help a bit?
you shud definitely ask a rebbi or rov or someone btw not just some kid that happened to see a vertel this week
the brisker rov in this weeks parsha says, although eliezer had so many nissim happening to him asisting him in finding out that rivka was the one for yitzchok, yitzchok didnt only rely on that. Rather, yitzchok waited until he saw that her actions were in the ways of his mother sarah and only then did he go for it.
that help a bit?
you shud definitely ask a rebbi or rov or someone btw not just some kid that happened to see a vertel this week
If you don’t want to marry this girl, I don’t think you should be worrying that she might be your bashert. I also don’t think most people are qualified to read “signs,” or Hashem’s intention in a given situation.
Popa:
I think the question is about the possibility of a specific disinterest in marrying the person who is one’s bashert. I don’t think disinterest in getting married at all should count in that case.
(Of course, you were probably joking anyway.)
Randomex:
I think you need to read http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/seminary-vs-sherut-leumi/page/2#post-538070 and http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/paa-vs-pba
As for your actual point, I guess the way to figure it out would be to see if someone with no interest in getting married has an interest in marrying his/her bashert.
It could be that I was joking though.
PAA:
I was genuinely surprised by your post, and managed to figure out what you were referring to without following the links (having already read the second link, I was familiar with the first one). Sorry about that. (Thanks for not mentioning the response(s) I owe you.)
(At least he didn’t say anything about me not actually being able to keep posters straight…)
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