Dating without a car.

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Viewing 23 posts - 1 through 23 (of 23 total)
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  • #615890
    Wisey
    Participant

    What if you live out of town and can’t get a car? Is it muttar to use a car service/uber/taxi? When can you go by public?

    #1088852
    Wisey
    Participant

    If you can’t find one to borrow every time is renting cheaper?

    #1088853
    Joseph
    Participant

    Why would there be a problem using a car service? It could be even less of a problem that driving alone with her.

    #1088854
    lesschumras
    Participant

    Why is a car necessary if public transportation is available?

    #1088855
    The Parisian
    Participant

    lesschumras, the concept of the car was probably induced by society conventions, to look better or whatever it is.

    It would be much easier to meet in the city, everyone going by his own means (im talking from experience). Just now if someone wants to go that way, he would never get married.

    #1088856
    Joseph
    Participant

    In Eretz Yisroel, the norm in the yeshivishe velt is to date without a car. The guy and gal meetup at the agreed to place, each getting there on their own.

    #1088857
    lesschumras
    Participant

    The Parisian, when you take parking fees and tolls into account, that’s an enormous expense for each date. It’s much cheaper, and often much faster, to take public transit. Driving is a societal “mesorah” that doesn’t have to be followed

    #1088858
    The Parisian
    Participant

    I totally agree with you, personally i have no licence.

    I think that as far as dates are concerned, Americans are worse than Israelis (which is something), the formalization is just craaaaaaaaaaaaazy.

    #1088859
    nishtdayngesheft
    Participant

    “Why is a car necessary if public transportation is available? “

    Assuming they are travelling together and they would like to converse, then a car is much more practical.

    Additionally, public transportation may be available, but that does not mean it is convenient, for either party, and this is just more respectful.

    #1088860
    rew
    Member

    Why are cars a necessity? Cars are not that old and people have been dating for thousands of yrs. How did people do it before cars?

    The parisian:Why do you think somebody without a car will not get married? plenty of people date without cars and get married- maybe not to the same type of person who has a car but there are those who don’t care so much about a car.

    #1088863
    lesschumras
    Participant

    Nisht, available=convenient. It’s easy to converse and no less respectful

    #1088864
    Excellence
    Participant

    I don’t have a car and sometimes my date drives to me. It’s practical. Travelling 2 hrs to meet her there is not.

    However … the parent generation are very much old fashion and become furious when the man does not pick their daughter up from their place “like they should.”

    They don’t get it.

    #1088865
    The Parisian
    Participant

    I dont get so much your point Nisht, if we resettle the date to be just in the city (bars, retsos, caffes,…) its possible to shmuz the same amount of time, increasing the number of dates if necessary.

    The only advantage of the car is that its possible to converse on the way, which is harder by MTA (i agree its not so geshmack to exchange views on the life at 34th street Herald Square with “stand clear of the closing doors please”). Its a very thin plus for a big headache.

    #1088866
    flatbusher
    Participant

    I think it may be the girls who would have a negative opinion of a boy who doesn’t drive or doesn’t come by a car. Driving a car is like basic rite of adulthood, and maybe some girls don’t mind, but it seems many girls think it strange when a guy doesn’t drive or come by car. Also in car service as well as public transportation it’s difficult to have a private conversation.

    #1088867
    Joseph
    Participant

    And in a lounge or kosher restaurant it is easier to have a private conversation than in a car service??

    For a girl to mind that her date came with a car service instead of driving is no better than for her to mind that his family uses a silver colored tablecloth for Shabbos instead of gold colored tablecloth or that he wears slip-on shoes instead of laces.

    #1088868
    Wisey
    Participant

    Maybe it depends alot on the time of day. I’ve been on buses at night that were close to empty. It could be a relaxing way to spend time without having to keep an eye on the road all the time.

    #1088869
    flatbusher
    Participant

    I think you are missing the point that when dating people prefer it not be a public spectacle whom they are dating. I have heard more than one instance where girls will date from a different location just so neighbors don’t see their dates. Taking public transportation is just that…public. As for the car service, I would agree that it’s nerdy way to do, but don’t compare it to people who care about table settings.

    #1088870
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Being in public is not as awkward as being with one other person.

    #1088871
    lesschumras
    Participant

    Flatbushet, shidduch dates usually are intentionally held in public places; why does transportation have to be private?

    #1088872
    flatbusher
    Participant

    We can only speculate, but girls seem to have a distaste for going on a date via public transportation or car service.

    #1088873
    karlbenmarx
    Participant

    just take the train, unless the girl is JAPpy shell be fine with it, back in the day, it was normal when everyone was poor.

    #1088874
    The Parisian
    Participant

    People, i think there is a confusion here: Coming to the girl in a car has two aspects.

    -“Dating”, i.e conversing in the car, on the way to and from the city.

    – Going to a dating place (in the city) by car.

    As far as the first aspect is concerned i agree that cars cant be replaced by MTA. BUT the date does not have to start under the girl’s porch! They can decide to meet straight in a resto in the city. And separate there. But here also can be a jappy problem, if the girl doesnt want to dirty her stiletto heels on the train floor, but again they could dress less formal…..

    #1088875
    Joseph
    Participant

    You’re far better off without a jap.

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