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Lets say your husband had a coffee and now theres a mug and spoon that needs to be washed. Does he do it himself? If he doesn’t do you wish he would or is it to be expected that he would wash it himself?
Not trying to make sholom bayis issues here lol.
Worst thread idea ever. Which female mod let this through.
since he cooked and served, I am willing to wash the dishes 🙂
Just get her father to buy you a dishwasher.
WIY- what happened? Your wife left a coffeemug in the sink after telling you you always have to wash yours?
gamanit – LOL
Whenever others wash my dishes I always wash them over. I do warn them before they start that it is not a favor and they are wasting their time because I will do it over myself. Anyway my husband tells me to buy disposable so it’s my fault that we have any dirty dishes to begin with.
wiy- yes i would expect him to 100%
its why i use disposable.
Everyone in our household is expected to wash his/her own dishes, adults and children alike. We don’t have a maid, and I don’t expect our kids to treat their mother like one.
Popa- your subtitle should be changed to “arbitrarily a man”.
No, I expect him to wait so the dishes are washed after we’ve both finished.
Not unless he’s eating in a restaurant and doesn’t have the money to pay for his meal!
The home kitchen is my domain!
I don’t expect him to wash his dishes. But I always appreciate it when he does, and I always say thank you. This way, it encourages him to do it more, but I am never disappointed when he doesn’t.
If he has done cooking, then it is nice of him to wash up after himself but I don’t expect it, for two reasons:
1. He has really bad eczema on his hands so it is a big thing for him to do washing up. Whenever he does I let him know that I am very grateful for it.
2. It is not always reasonable to ‘expect’ things off others. As long as they are not making my job as wife and mother harder, they do not always need to wash up after themselves. Clearing up, however, is a different matter. I would expect them to at least put their stuff in the sink when they’re done.
takahmamash – I agree with your comment, just want to add that if the children are brought up from a young age to clear up after themselves, then it will be automatic. You can’t suddenly expect a ten-year old or even a teenager to clear their own stuff up if they had their mother constantly clearing up behind them when they were young. I am teaching my two year old that she has to put away toys when she’s finished with them – this is where it starts.
A man who washes dishes is no different from a woman who plays hockey.
How does washing dishes make you lose your teeth?
Some people sing while they wash dishes. If people with awful voices sing, their own voices cause their teeth to chatter, which can eventually wear them down.
I don’t know any men who play hockey.
Expectations in marriage only lead to disappointment. Nobody should be expected to be a novi because one side has “expectations”. You should be open about what you want/need in your marriage. Surprises can be nice also.
@Syag – “since he cooked and served, I am willing to wash the dishes 🙂 “
That works. 🙂
Otherwise, HE’D BETTER WASH ‘EM!!
some expectations are okay in marriage. I expect my husband to not walk out of the house in his underpants alone. I expect my husband to eat generally. I expect my husband to sleep generally. I expect my husband to rinse his own coffee cup n spoon.
I expect my wife to allow me to buy a dishwasher.
I expect my wife to allow me to buy a dishwasher.
rebyidd-in 90% of the cases, she will let if you can afford it!
That’s why I expect it.
A husband should never ever be “EXPECTED” to do the dishes, the laundry or other household chores. That being said he should always show his appreciation to his wife for her taking care of his house, children & personal needs. Of course if he’s able to he should help out when he sees his wife needs.
Before all you “liberated” women (and some men too) jump down my throat let me explain as follows.
Todays society has corrupted the concept of roles in marriage with the woman working outside the home which in most cases is not by choice due to the need for extra income. Once upon a time ago women took pride in taking care of their home, children & husband. A woman who is forced to be out working cannot in most cases give it her all because its just too exhausting. True there are some superwoman out there but that’s not the norm. A man on the other hand needs a wife to be his “helper” in life. “Helper” defined as someone to take care of his house, children & his own needs. A woman who creates a warm, comfortable, caring environment for her husband enables him to have the proper yishuv hadas to accomplish whatever it is that he has to in both ruchnius and gashmius.
“Expecting” her husband to do the dishes and other chores (I didn’t say he can’t or shouldn’t help only it shouldn’t be an expectation) creates a level of stress (opposite of yishuv hadas) in most men.
laytzonay hador omrim- before you jump down our throats, let me explain this thread was not meant to be taken as seriously as you took it. so relax 🙂
laytzonay hador omrim, it’s about his dishes, not hers.
Even my two year old knows to put her cup and plate/bowl/spoon in the sink when she is finished eating. It should be automatic anyway.
I would be very annoyed to have to hunt around the house for all the cups and plates that were used by others and not cleared up. I’m not a domestic maid, I’m a wife.
Ewe.
don’t have a hubbie. BUT in my house, the rule is: you get up: you clear your plate. we have milchig and fleshing dishwashers so it just means put your stuff in the dishwasher. quite a fair rule 🙂
Oh, we also have dishwashers in our home. (male and female)
Of course. Right after she builds the sukkah.
coffee y not, shabbos seuda heck no
Is your hubby eating alone??? Shouldn’t this question be after “we” finish eating????
It sounds like your shalom bayis needs a makeover… maybe you should do both, eat together and wash the dishes!!!
R. Paysach Krohn says, a woman shouldn’t expect to be thanked for the bread that she bakes, unless she thanks her husband for the dough he brings home!
funnybone- read the OP
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