Do you size people up when meeting them? How often are you proven wrong?

Home Coffeeroom Decaffeinated Coffee Do you size people up when meeting them? How often are you proven wrong?

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  • #598334

    Ofcourse
    Member

    We’re all judgemental, to some degree. How judgemental are you?

    How often are you totally wrong, or more wrong than right?

    Are you right 100% of the time? 75%? 50%? 25%? Less than 25%? 0%?

    Those who are right 100% to 75% of the time, how do you think you have that special Chush? OR is it just that you have a hard time admitting when you are wrong?

    #990612

    brotherofurs
    Participant

    umm i’m not really sure… i do know that in the past i’ve judged people totally wrong, including new classmates or my campers in the beginning of the summer [either i thought they were mean or weird and they were really nice or the opposite..]

    i don’t really pay attention to when i think something and then it turns out to be right [if i thought a camper was nice and she really was], so i dont know the percentage.

    i hope in the future b”H i’ll just be dan lekaf zechut!

    #990613

    yossi z.
    Member

    I am not wrong too often and I think my chush comes from empathy or just a heightened sensitivity. There however is an art in reading people to see through their actions and words to see what is real and what is not allowing you to see the real person for who they are

    😀 Zuberman! 😀

    #990614

    brotherofurs
    Participant

    yossi z- so what about wen u judge people in a bad way {could be u never do , idk ;)].. is it hard for you to be dan lekaf zechut becuase u r usually right?

    #990615

    Ofcourse
    Member

    The reason I started this thread is that I used to think I was a really good judge of people by just looking at faces (hee hee- was I wrong!) Lately I looked at the two murderers and think I might have thought they were really nice people. I thought I could pick up a sinister person by the look in their eye, even from a photo.

    The older I get, the smarter I get. The more I know that I dont know!

    #990616

    smartcookie
    Member

    I usually have a person out after speaking with them a few minutes. And I’m quite right most of the time. Just something I like to do, to analyze people.

    #990617

    shlishi
    Member

    Of course you think you are right; most of the time even if you were wrong a person won’t admit it or even realize they were wrong!

    #990618

    smartcookie
    Member

    Shlishi- that’s not what I mean. I’m talking about times when I meet a person at first, and then I get to know them better, turns out they are like I first thought them to be.

    I guess I just figure out a person’s nature quickly.

    #990619

    quark2
    Member

    subconciously, you make judgments about a person from the instant you see them, based on many things, including clothing, hairstyle, body weight, and many other factors.

    #990620

    minyan gal
    Member

    It is important to always be on your best behaviour. The one thing that is difficult to change is someone’s first impression of you. Many authors of “self help” type books say that a first impression can never be altered, but I don’t believe that – you might have to work harder to change a person’s first impression of you, but I think it can be done. Life is much simpler though, if you are always putting your best foot forward – simple things like clean, unwrinkled clothing, an overall neat appearance and good grooming makes a stranger want to know more about you, even before an introduction – because they have sized you up prior to a first handshake (which should be firm – nothing worse than the “limp fish” handshake). The things I have mentioned are even more important if the person you are meeting is interviewing you for a job. Many of these interviewers are trained HR people and as you walk through their door your outward appearance tells them a lot. If all other things are equal, sometimes the “outward trappings” can get you the job. After first glances, the way you talk with someone and whether or not you look directly at them continue to make that first impression. Most strangers can tell very quickly if you are being sincere and if they would like to pursue a friendship or business relationship with you.

    #990621

    yossi z.
    Member

    Brother: I do my best to only look positively 🙂 I don’t do it just by looking at a face even though I could tell something just from a face, it usually won’t be accurate that way. I need to have a conversation (of any kind) before I analyze.

    😀 Zuberman! 😀

    #990622

    klach
    Member

    Some people are simply brilliant at this. Rav Henoch Leibowitz ZT”L said he knew every issue a person had just from the way he said good shabbos to him after shacharis on shabbos and his eyes.

    #990623

    Another name
    Participant

    It’s hard for me sometimes to “judge”, because I try to see the good in all people. Even in this coffee room- some people are more brazen or blunt with their comments, but that shouldn’t determine their goodness level. Especially since we are only viewing these people in 1 setting. I think most people are really sincere and an anonymous forum is their opportunity to express themselves and seek advice.

    Neverthless, I’m pretty judgemental. Usually (perhaps it is a gut feeling) I can figure out a person in a matter of minutes. This is more based on observations of them than actual conversation. My judgements are usually based on what type they are and personality…

    #990624

    bpt
    Participant

    I’m routinely overestimated by people.

    But I do my best to set them straight as soon as possible!

    #990625

    i’m shy when i first meet ppl so my first meeting is just lots of observing the person. and even once i get to know the person, my view of the person can def change once i know them better. life is a play and we are actors; when you get to know ppl better, the act drops and you see what the mask was hiding, which can be a hidden talent, exceptionally good middah, or a nasty habit. am i judgemental? ya i am. does my view change? yes of course. but am i good at reading ppl? that would be a big NO. which is why i stand in the back doing lots of observing and listening

    #990626

    Another name
    Participant

    bpt, how generous of you!

    #990627

    I thought I was overly judgmental when it came to first impressions. Now I see everyone else does it too. Now I just feel plain old normal.

    #990628

    YW Moderator-42
    Moderator

    I met a guy yesterday who I sized up to be 7 feet tall. I was proven wrong, he was only 6-10.

    #990629

    I was proven wrong, he was only 6-10.

    I hope you learned not to rely on first impressions.

    #990630

    oomis
    Participant

    I am generally right on the mark about people whom I am meeting for the first time. Only once was I really fooled by someone. And I was being dan l’chaf zchus on this person, who did not deserve my benefit of the doubt.

    #990631

    RebYidd23
    Participant

    I’m always right, but people are wrong about me.

    #990632

    HaLeiVi
    Participant

    The concept of sizing up people is silly. People often sum up others in one sentence, or word. However, if you ask them to describe themselves, they are stuck. I’m not one sentence. I have opinions and approaches, attitudes regarding multiple situations. I figure things out; It’s not all pre-configured. Well, what about the other guy?

    But, I do it anyhow — to some degree.

    #990633

    RebYidd23
    Participant

    It’s human nature to make assumptions.

    #990634

    writersoul
    Member

    I tend to assume people are nice. I’ve gotten burned this way, but it’s cool that I’m usually right :).

    I was going to say how awful judgmental people are, and then I realized…

    #990635

    ED IT OR
    Participant

    I size people up within the first few minutes of meeting them, im rarely wrong yet its always possible.

    #990636

    oomis
    Participant

    I am usually a pretty good judge of character and thankfully was wrong only once of which I know.

    #990637

    Make that twice. Another time you thought I was polite, well-mannered.

    #990638

    I’m very judgmental but favorably.

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