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We’re all judgemental, to some degree. How judgemental are you?
How often are you totally wrong, or more wrong than right?
Are you right 100% of the time? 75%? 50%? 25%? Less than 25%? 0%?
Those who are right 100% to 75% of the time, how do you think you have that special Chush? OR is it just that you have a hard time admitting when you are wrong?
umm i’m not really sure… i do know that in the past i’ve judged people totally wrong, including new classmates or my campers in the beginning of the summer [either i thought they were mean or weird and they were really nice or the opposite..]
i don’t really pay attention to when i think something and then it turns out to be right [if i thought a camper was nice and she really was], so i dont know the percentage.
i hope in the future b”H i’ll just be dan lekaf zechut!
I am not wrong too often and I think my chush comes from empathy or just a heightened sensitivity. There however is an art in reading people to see through their actions and words to see what is real and what is not allowing you to see the real person for who they are
😀 Zuberman! 😀
yossi z- so what about wen u judge people in a bad way {could be u never do , idk ;)].. is it hard for you to be dan lekaf zechut becuase u r usually right?
I usually have a person out after speaking with them a few minutes. And I’m quite right most of the time. Just something I like to do, to analyze people.
Of course you think you are right; most of the time even if you were wrong a person won’t admit it or even realize they were wrong!
Shlishi- that’s not what I mean. I’m talking about times when I meet a person at first, and then I get to know them better, turns out they are like I first thought them to be.
I guess I just figure out a person’s nature quickly.
subconciously, you make judgments about a person from the instant you see them, based on many things, including clothing, hairstyle, body weight, and many other factors.
It is important to always be on your best behaviour. The one thing that is difficult to change is someone’s first impression of you. Many authors of “self help” type books say that a first impression can never be altered, but I don’t believe that – you might have to work harder to change a person’s first impression of you, but I think it can be done. Life is much simpler though, if you are always putting your best foot forward – simple things like clean, unwrinkled clothing, an overall neat appearance and good grooming makes a stranger want to know more about you, even before an introduction – because they have sized you up prior to a first handshake (which should be firm – nothing worse than the “limp fish” handshake). The things I have mentioned are even more important if the person you are meeting is interviewing you for a job. Many of these interviewers are trained HR people and as you walk through their door your outward appearance tells them a lot. If all other things are equal, sometimes the “outward trappings” can get you the job. After first glances, the way you talk with someone and whether or not you look directly at them continue to make that first impression. Most strangers can tell very quickly if you are being sincere and if they would like to pursue a friendship or business relationship with you.
Brother: I do my best to only look positively 🙂 I don’t do it just by looking at a face even though I could tell something just from a face, it usually won’t be accurate that way. I need to have a conversation (of any kind) before I analyze.
😀 Zuberman! 😀
Some people are simply brilliant at this. Rav Henoch Leibowitz ZT”L said he knew every issue a person had just from the way he said good shabbos to him after shacharis on shabbos and his eyes.
It’s hard for me sometimes to “judge”, because I try to see the good in all people. Even in this coffee room- some people are more brazen or blunt with their comments, but that shouldn’t determine their goodness level. Especially since we are only viewing these people in 1 setting. I think most people are really sincere and an anonymous forum is their opportunity to express themselves and seek advice.
Neverthless, I’m pretty judgemental. Usually (perhaps it is a gut feeling) I can figure out a person in a matter of minutes. This is more based on observations of them than actual conversation. My judgements are usually based on what type they are and personality…
I’m routinely overestimated by people.
But I do my best to set them straight as soon as possible!
i’m shy when i first meet ppl so my first meeting is just lots of observing the person. and even once i get to know the person, my view of the person can def change once i know them better. life is a play and we are actors; when you get to know ppl better, the act drops and you see what the mask was hiding, which can be a hidden talent, exceptionally good middah, or a nasty habit. am i judgemental? ya i am. does my view change? yes of course. but am i good at reading ppl? that would be a big NO. which is why i stand in the back doing lots of observing and listening
bpt, how generous of you!
I thought I was overly judgmental when it came to first impressions. Now I see everyone else does it too. Now I just feel plain old normal.
I met a guy yesterday who I sized up to be 7 feet tall. I was proven wrong, he was only 6-10.
I was proven wrong, he was only 6-10.
I hope you learned not to rely on first impressions.
I am generally right on the mark about people whom I am meeting for the first time. Only once was I really fooled by someone. And I was being dan l’chaf zchus on this person, who did not deserve my benefit of the doubt.
I’m always right, but people are wrong about me.
The concept of sizing up people is silly. People often sum up others in one sentence, or word. However, if you ask them to describe themselves, they are stuck. I’m not one sentence. I have opinions and approaches, attitudes regarding multiple situations. I figure things out; It’s not all pre-configured. Well, what about the other guy?
But, I do it anyhow — to some degree.
It’s human nature to make assumptions.
I tend to assume people are nice. I’ve gotten burned this way, but it’s cool that I’m usually right :).
I was going to say how awful judgmental people are, and then I realized…
I size people up within the first few minutes of meeting them, im rarely wrong yet its always possible.
I am usually a pretty good judge of character and thankfully was wrong only once of which I know.
Make that twice. Another time you thought I was polite, well-mannered.
I’m very judgmental but favorably.
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