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I just did dor yishorim with a girl I’m dating. They called me and confirmed we were compatible but said they would suggest we reconfirm as things progress…has anybody ever heard of this? what if things already progressed? should I just call them up and have them double check and do it again?
Yes, and ask them why it needs to be reconfirmed. This does not seem typical.
Sounds sketchy to indicate compatibility but advising to check again at a later date for reconfirmation. You need to clarify with them what that means. There may have been a misunderstanding between you and them.
That is odd. I called dor yesharim for results before my children got engaged and each time got a definitive answer – no strings attached.
RedQuest, the reason they ask for reconfirmation is to make sure that there were no mistakes made in the transfer of the numbers between both parties. While unlikely, this could possibly happen, especially when the transfer is going through a shadchan.
There is nothing sketchy about this– they always tell you to call again before you get engaged. (Not that I did… oops)
T21 – I don’t know about that. I think both sides could call and give the same numbers at any point in the shidduch. The facts are not going to change no matter how many dates the couple has been on. I do not think they ALWAYS tell you to call again. Whoever wants to know calls. I wanted to know for my daughter, so I called. My now son-in-law’s parents did not care so much, so they sent him for the test but did not call themselves, but they could have. This calling again sounds funny.
RQ – Did you have the shadchan (or you yourself) have the other side call to request the same info?
When I called, they said they only give out the information if both sides call.
Nechomah- the first time I called Dor Yeshorim, that is what they told me. They said that if a shidduch works out, the two parties involved should directly exchange numbers and call again, just to ascertain that no mistakes have been made.
For something as relatively painless as a two-minute phone call which can avoid a lot of tza’ar later, I would say it’s worth it to double-check (although, as I said, I have not followed my own advice).
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