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New Seminary, by Popa

(19 posts)
  • Started 2 years ago by popa_bar_abba
  • Latest reply from DaasYochid

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  1. popa_bar_abba
    Incorrigible; eccentric; somewhere between mean and average; sometimes only a bit over the top; arbitrarily engaged in cynicism.

    So you all know how seminary is a scam? Yes? So Popa is going to open an new seminary and it will also be a scam.

    Bnos Popa.
    At Bnos Popa, we are going to charge the same tuition, but we actually won't have anything. When you come to seminary, you will do all the stuff which you came to seminary to do and none of the stuff that costs us money. To that end:

    1. No dorms. Go stay with your sister whose husband is in the Mir. Or your grandmother, or aunt, or whatever.
    2. No food. FroYo for the win.
    3. All out shabbosim. You can visit every place you wanted to.
    4. Unlimited time off.
    5. Trips! We will still have the same number of trips, where you will meet the other girls in your seminary. Which brings us to:
    6. Friends! You will have unlimited time to hang out with your new seminary friends who you will meet on the trips.
    7. Inspiring Shiurim. You will be provided with a list of many of the inspiring free shiurim in Yerushalaim. But not all of them; finding them yourself is a big part of the experience.

    So you see, inspiration, eretz yisroel, new friends, fro yo, sister's house. We have it all.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  2. gefen
    Comes here for family time!

    Send me an application.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  3. popa_bar_abba
    Incorrigible; eccentric; somewhere between mean and average; sometimes only a bit over the top; arbitrarily engaged in cynicism.

    Also, hold your horses, because next we're getting....

    Darchei Ambit! על שם ר' ברוך מיידוף

    When you sign up for our seminary, you will notice that the tuition is $5000 higher than our competition. But, for every student that you sign up, you will receive $2000!

    And that is not all!
    Each time you sign up a student and they in turn sign up a student, you will receive 10% of whatever amount of bonus they receive! And that goes for the next generations also.

    So if you sign up five students, you get $10,000
    And if they each sign up five students, they each get $10,000 and you get $5,000.
    And if those next ones each sign up five students, they each get $10,000; your original signups each get $5,000, and you get $2,500!!!!!!!

    But you ask, what about when the seminary fills up? Won't the last people lose money?
    No! One thousand times no! Because Darchei Ambit never fills up! We have unlimited spots, and unlimited resources to provide for students. We will never turn any student away for lack of space. You are secure that the students you find will be able to sign up and you will make your money back plus unlimited profits.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  4. 1) Please send a list of students that you will not be accepting so we that it is appropriately exclusive.

    2) A list of how little kest parents have to promise, be cause these girls are so special

    3) How many applications and interviews you say you have erceived and conducted is important, make sure that checks got cashed.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  5. Whiteberry
    Member

    Sounds like this might be a step up from Darkei Nowhere. Can we apply online?

    Posted 2 years ago #
  6. YW Moderator-42
    Life, The Coffee Room, and Subtitles.

    Is there an inta-seminary football league?

    Do you allow your Talmidot to touch their uncles?

    Do you have any affiliation with Bnos Obama?

    Posted 2 years ago #
  7. BY1212
    Member

    how much is the application fee?
    Masa? Pell? Tap?

    Posted 2 years ago #
  8. WIY
    Managed to post for 3 years without getting a subtitle

    Bnos Pupa?
    Is this a chassidish seminary?

    Posted 2 years ago #
  9. popa_bar_abba
    Incorrigible; eccentric; somewhere between mean and average; sometimes only a bit over the top; arbitrarily engaged in cynicism.

    And my friend introduced me to his seminary:

    דרכי האמורי

    Posted 2 years ago #
  10. longarekel
    Member

    Is this a rabbinical seminary or a theological seminary? Or perhaps a theoretical seminary. I once attended a seminar on seminaries. They convinced me to join an online seminary where we learned about the dangers of the internet, online dating, and hashkafa. Anyway, the newest seminary on the market (pun intended) is called Bais Hanashim. For 20,000 dollars you can be placed on the top of an exclusive shidduch list. Past performance is not indicative of future results. Think positive! You'll be married at no time! (I mean in no time.) Popa, keep it rolling. Wishing everyone a great month and a happy Chanuka!

    Posted 2 years ago #
  11. moskidoodle
    Roy G. Biv™

    So you see, inspiration, eretz yisroel, new friends, fro yo, sister's house. We have it all.

    What are you guys doing with my sister's house?!

    Posted 2 years ago #
  12. Syag Lchochma
    working on shesika

    Hey moski!!!!!! Long time no seeeeee!

    Posted 2 years ago #
  13. OneOfMany
    Today, the Impressively Arbitrary Nymphadora the Purple is sporting One Of her Many eyebrow colors, as well as her Morgul-blade ^_^

    Hi moksi! ^_^

    Posted 2 years ago #
  14. Wisey
    inventor of banana mush

    What's the free yeshiva called Toras Pupa?

    Posted 2 years ago #
  15. Torah613Torah
    (613)Torah²

    Every time I see the ad for ואת עלית, I think of chocolate. Elite chocolate.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  16. Imaofthree
    Member

    Popa, this is very funny! :)

    Posted 1 year ago #
  17. Torah613Torah
    (613)Torah²

    I would have liked your seminary just fine. I'm sure the curriculum includes important halachic shaylos for every day life, like, can you give a lamb as a korban if it was born from a pig?

    Posted 1 year ago #
  18. YW Moderator-42
    Life, The Coffee Room, and Subtitles.

    The most important thing for a seminary is that it shud hav its own thread in the CR, so popa, please start a new thread for each of ur sems!!!

    Posted 1 year ago #
  19. DaasYochid
    a singular mind

    He already did, don't you see them?

    Posted 1 year ago #

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