Nursery Rhymes For Jews

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  • #590484

    mepal
    Member

    Mashie has a little mind

    Little mind, little mind

    When it comes to Mashie’s mind

    There’s little she need know

    Teach her how to cook and clean

    Cook and clean, cook and clean

    Teach her how to cook and clean

    And watch her children grow


    Baa, baa, black hat

    Have you any gelt

    Yessir, yessir

    I’ve a money belt

    Some for my family

    And some for the poor

    But none for the tax man who knocks at my door


    Hey-diddle-diddle

    There stands a Yid’l

    Sanctifying the moon

    Tomorrow he’ll shiver

    Kneel down by the river

    And dip in two plates and a spoon


    Little Moshe Yoel

    Sat in a kollel

    Learning his Pe’ah and Demai

    His wife works all day

    While he shteigs away

    And thinks, What a smart boy am I


    Halivni-Weissni sat on a wall

    Couldn’t decide on which side to fall

    All the frum soldiers in Tziv’os Hashem

    Couldn’t convince him to be one of them


    Rabbi Plott would eat what’s glatt

    His wife ate Triangle-K

    Their kids did not know what to eat

    And so they ran away


    Three tiny bugs

    Three tiny bugs

    See how they run

    See how they run

    They live in lettuce and broccoli

    In cauliflower they hide from me

    My microscope makes them clear to see

    The three tiny bugs

    Three tiny bugs


    Sing a song of past tense

    Of Jewish days gone by

    When we lived in Europe

    Nobody was frei

    When the ghettoes opened

    Off maskilim ran

    But the shtetl always stayed

    A Torah wonderland

    Everyone knew Torah

    Loved it more than money

    No one had to work in that

    Land of Milk and Honey

    And though we’re now in Golus

    In an Age that’s Dark

    We’ll try to rebuild Poland

    Here in Borough Park


    Little Miss Alpert

    Sat in an airport

    That was her first shidduch date

    She thought the guy wore a very nice tie

    The chasenoh is Sunday at eight

    #885873

    cool

    #885874

    the.nurse
    Member

    omg mepal, hysterical!! i like the last one the best 🙂

    #885875

    mepal
    Member

    😉 You can share your own as well!

    #885876

    chrein chrein go away come again on saturday

    #885877

    Hickory dickory dock

    My sukkah came with a fine shlok

    The rain goes by

    But I stay dry

    Hickory dickory dock


    Hey diddle diddle

    The man in the middle

    The shadchan comes into the room

    The young siblings laugh

    At their big sister’s gaffe

    When she says “IY’H by me soon”

    #885878

    the.nurse
    Member

    OMG ROTF you guys are so funny!!

    #885879

    Shidduch crisis is falling down

    falling down

    fallingdown

    Shidduch crisis is falling down

    so close the age gap!

    #885880

    Hey yiddle yiddle

    your house is too little

    can you add a second wine cellar?

    to fit with our crowd

    be rich and be loud

    and have more cash than a Rockefeller

    #885881

    mepal
    Member

    Hey! You guys are great! Keep them coming!

    #885882

    Leah Locket lost her pocket

    Kayla Fish returned it

    hashovas aveida was her goal

    not the reward: she spurned it

    #885883

    mepal
    Member

    squeak, have you got any to share?

    #885884

    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    nice goin here 🙂

    great thread idea

    #885885

    squeak
    Participant

    you know I do 🙂 🙂 🙂

    #885886

    Jack’s still nimble

    Though now he’s bigger

    Now he runs

    From his sharp-tongued shvigger


    Little Jack Finkel

    Sat in a vinkle

    eating his Hamantash

    a bagel & lox

    would be his first choice

    but he has no kvertel to wash


    Mirel Scheiner

    Quite a whiner

    how does your garden grow?

    “my bluebell would make me kvell

    it’s just that it grows so slow”


    Mary had a little lamb

    Her father was a farmer

    It followed her to school one day

    For lunch they had schawarmer …(shhh – don’t tell PETA about this one)


    Old King Cole was a merry old soul

    But one day he was feeling feeble

    He asked his advisers to take a poll

    If he should build a nearby shteeble

    The shul came equipped with a top notch rov

    to help the king daven to the one above

    Also, for the singles it had a shadchan

    & for when he was sad it had a member badchan

    When davening finished (at 12 o’clock)

    The oilam had a chulent – azah geshmak

    The tzibur came from miles around

    for the overnight kugel (thoroughly browned)

    you can come on yomtov and buy an aliyah

    our door’s always open, we’ll be happy to see ya

    #885887

    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    Hear yee hear yee

    The mods will be back

    Just show some loyalty

    To the Grand CR community

    Stick around and cut the mods some slack

    #885888

    sammygol
    Member

    Between Mepal and CanOnlyTry – you guys are funny!! Very, very good.

    #885889

    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    ICOT- I like em! especially since you spelled it chUlent :):)

    #885890

    mepal-

    Your rhymes were hilarious!

    Thanks for the invite.

    Poshite Yid 613-

    areivimzehlazeh-

    Yours, too.

    (I seem to have inadvertently chosen a side in a major ch[u/o] [gong].)

    squeak-

    nu?

    the.nurse-

    sammygol-

    Thank you.

    #885891

    To learn or not to learn. That is THE question.

    (a quote from Velvel Shakspiro

    #885892

    mepal
    Member

    Thank you, nurse, areivim, sammy gol, ICOT. But honestly, lets give credit where credit is due. These are not my originals! 😉

    #885893

    mominisrael
    Member

    the eensy weensy spider crawled up the water spout

    Mrs. Balebusta saw it and it caused her to pout,

    up came the broom to wipe it all away

    and the eensy weensy spider did not crawl up again!

    #885894

    mominisrael
    Member

    (i don’t know if my other post got deleted or went thru.sorry if this is a double!)

    Yaakov and Yehudis went up the hill to fetch a pail of water

    Yak fell down

    and broke his bone

    so Yehudis said refuah sheleima!

    Little Miss Molly

    lost her dolly

    and didn’t know where to find her

    Leave it alone

    someone will bring it home

    to fulfill hashavas aveida!

    #885895

    mominisrael
    Member

    Old Baba Hubbard

    went to her cupboard

    to get her ainekel a treat

    When she got there

    the supply wasn’t there

    that Yankel ate it all, the cheat!

    There was a dear mama

    who lived in back of a shul

    she had so many children,

    and so much to do

    so she fed them some supper,

    kissed all their heads,

    said the shema

    and sent them to bed!

    #885896

    mepal
    Member

    mominisrael: Very cute!

    #885897

    my yingle just turned six; hence

    he’s now learning bereishis

    a chumash party made sense,

    nothing ostentatious

    the zaidys and the bubbys

    sat in the back kvelling

    the viber and their hubbys

    enjoyed their kids’ tzushtelling

    the party worked out just right

    it was a great success

    but then I was up all night

    from noshing to excess

    #885898

    YW Moderator-72
    Participant

    Wolf Ber went up to the mountains,

    Wolf Ber went up to the mountains,

    Wolf Ber went up to the mountains,

    To see his family.

    And all that he could see,

    And all that he could see,

    Was 60 miles of traffic,

    Was 60 miles of traffic,

    Was 60 miles of traffic,

    So. he spent Shabbos in Monsey.

    #885899

    mepal
    Member

    LOL ICOT and 72!!

    #885900

    mazca
    Member

    Sophie comes and plays around

    plays around with all her friends in town

    Sophie comes and plays around

    plays around with all her friends in town

    Jump, jump, the rope they do

    Jump, jump, the rope they do

    Until one gets a scratch

    Until one gets a scratch

    Ima, Ima she cries

    Ima, Ima she cries

    Until all the neighbors come around

    Until all the neighbors come around

    Candy, candy we all want

    Candy, candy we all want

    All the children now demand

    All the children now demand

    Candy for all the crowd

    Candy for all the crowd

    #885901

    pusht
    Member

    a bochur had a little gemora a little gemora a little gemora a bochur had a little gemora its pages were nice and yellow and every were that bochur went that bochur went that bochur went andevery were that bochur went the gemora would go to it followed him to shiur one day to shuir one day to shuir one day it followed him to shuir one day now he nows it bal peh.

    #885902

    sammygol
    Member

    A rebbe heard his name invoked

    letter by letter, sound by sound.

    He could have wondered what the chosid smoked,

    yet he knew better, being under the ground.

    The chosid yelled and danced and sang

    when he heard a voice that made him shudder.

    Loud and clear in his ears it rang –

    “Yes, that’s my name, but I did not stutter”.

    #885903

    Joseph
    Participant

    Oif’n pripichok brent a fayerl.

    Un in stub iz heys,

    Un der rebe lernt

    Kleyne kinderlekh

    Dem alef-beys.

    Zet-zhe kinderlekh,

    Gedenkt-zhe, tayere, vos ir lernt do,

    Zogt-zhe nokh amol un take nokh amol:

    Komets-alef: o!

    Lernt, kinder, mit groys kheyshek,

    Azoy zog ikh aykh on,

    Ver s’vet gikher fun aykh kenen ivre,

    Der bakumt a fon.

    Lernt kinder, hot nit moyre,

    yeder onhoyb iz shver

    Glicklech der vos hot gelrnt toyre

    Tsi darf der mentsh noch mer?

    Ir vet kinder, elter vern,

    vet ir aleyn farshteyn

    vifil in di oyseyes lign trern

    un vifil geveyn.

    Az ir vet, kinder, dem goles shlepn,

    Oysgemutshet zayn,

    Zolt ir fun di oysyes koyekh shepn,

    Kukt in zey arayn!

    #885904

    Joseph
    Participant

    Shteyt a bocher, shteyt un tracht,

    Tract un tracht dem gantze nacht:

    Vemen tsu nemen un nit farshemen?

    Vemen tsu nemen un nit farshemen?

    Tumbala, tumbala, tum balalaika

    Tumbala, tumbala, tum balalaika

    Tum balalaika, shpil balalaika

    Tum balalaika, freylach zol seyn.

    Meydl, meydl, ch’vel bay dir fregn:

    Vos kon vaksn, vaksn on regn?

    Vos kon brenen un nit oyfhern ?

    Vos kon benken, veynen on trern?

    Narisher bocher, vos darfstu fregn?

    A shteyn kon vaksn, vaksn on regn.

    Libe kon brenen, un nit oyfhern.

    A harts kon benken, veynen on trern.

    #885905

    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    Joseph- you’re paying for my dentist bill

    #885906

    squeak
    Participant

    sammygol!! Now that’s a rhyme that brings out Siiiiimcha!

    #885907

    Joseph
    Participant

    ???????

    shlof zhe mir shoyn yankele mayn sheyner,

    di eygelakh di shvatsinke makh tsu.

    a yingele vos hot shoyn ale tseyndelekh,

    muz nokh di mame zingen “ay lyu lyu”

    a yingele vos hot shoyn ale tseyndelekh

    un vet mit mazel bald in kheyder geyn.

    un lernen vet er khumesh un gemore,

    zol veynen ven di mame vigt im ayn ?

    a yingele vos lernen vet gemore,

    ot shteyt der tate, kvelt un hert zikh tsu.

    a yingele vos vakst a talmid-chochem,

    lozt gantse nakht der mamen nit tsuru ?

    a yingele vos vakst a talmid-chochem,

    un a geniter soykher oykh tsuglaykh.

    a yingele a kluger chosn bocher,

    zo lign azoy nas, vi in a taykh ?

    nu shlof zhe mir, mayn kluger chosn bocher,

    dervayl ligstu in vigele bay mir.

    s’vet kostn fil mi un mame’s trern,

    bizvanen s’vet a mentsh aroys fun dir!

    #885908

    Joseph
    Participant

    ??? ??????

    A bisl zun a bisl regn,

    A ruik ort dem kop tsu leygn,

    Abi gezunt, ken men gliklekh zayn.

    A shukh, A zok, a kleyd on lates,

    In keshene dray fir Zlotes,

    Abi gezunt, ken men gliklekh zayn.

    Di luft iz fray, far yedn glaykh,

    Di zun zi sheynt far yedn eynem orem oder raykh.

    A bisl freyd, a bisl lakhn, amol mit fraynt a shnepzl makhn,

    Abi gezunt, ken men gliklekh zayn.

    Eyner sukht ashires, eyner sukht gvires,

    Eynem di gantse velt.

    Eyner meynt dos gantse

    Glik hengt nor op in gelt.

    Zoln ale zikhn, zoln ale krikhn, nor ikh trakht bay zikh.

    Ikh darf dos oyf kaporez vayl

    Dos glik shteyt bay mayn tir.

    #885909

    sammygol
    Member

    Any more from the Barry Sisters’ repertoir?

    #885910

    Joseph
    Participant

    ? ?????? ????

    Ikh vil bay aykh a kashe fregn,

    Entfert ver ez ken.

    Mit velkhn tayern farmegn

    Men koyft dos nisht far keyn shum gelt,

    Dos krigt men nor umzist.

    Un dokh az men farlirt dos

    Vifl trern men fargist

    Men hert nisht kain geveyn

    O, der vos hot farloyrn

    Der ken dos farshteyn.

    A yidishe mame,

    Es gibt kayn besers oyf der velt.

    A yidishe mame, oy vey,

    vi biter ven zi felt.

    Vi likhtik, sheyn in hoyz,

    Ven di mame iz do,

    Vi finster umetik,

    Ven got nemt ir oyf oylem habo.

    In vasser, in fayer,

    Volt zi gelofn far ir kind,

    Nisht haltn zich tayer,

    Dos iz geven di greste zind.

    Oy, vi gliklekh un raykh,

    Iz der mentsh, vos hot

    Aza tayre mame,

    Gebentsht fun got ,

    Azan altitshke, tayre mame,

    Yidishe mame mayn.

    A yidishe mame,

    Es gibt kayn besers oyf der velt.

    A yidishe mame, oy vey,

    vi biter ven zi felt.

    Vi likhtik, sheyn in hoyz,

    Ven di mame iz do,

    Vi finster umetik,

    Ven got nemt ir oyf oylem habo.

    #885912

    sammygol
    Member

    Some overfed cats

    in Dr. Seuss hats

    were looking for fun in the street.

    Trash was overturned,

    few tires were burned,

    preparing the Shabbos to greet.

    With stones piled high

    no car to deny

    the pleasure of smashing its glass.

    While calling crass names

    of those who stoked flames

    and burned bodies murdered with gas.

    And after the show,

    with faces aglow,

    they strut home to relish their meal.

    Then they threaten repeat,

    and stomp their feet

    not caring what others may feel.

    No matter the cause,

    whatever the flaws,

    destruction and wild rampage!

    Being idle all day

    with no mice to play,

    having nothing the hands to engage.

    They aren’t to be blamed

    as felines could be tamed

    and trained to be mannered and good.

    The fault lies overseas

    with those whom they please.

    Those fat cats that supply their food.

    #885913

    mepal
    Member

    gooood, sammygol!

    #885914

    nameless
    Member

    Sammy,

    AMAZING!!!

    #885916

    pookie
    Member

    thou shall not place a stumbling block in front of three blind mice

    #885917

    bygirl31
    Member

    LOLOLOL! THESE ARE AWESOME!

    #885920

    squeak
    Participant

    There was a shayneh maydel,

    Who was really much too aydel –

    and could not see herself dating just yet.

    And whenever she was redt,

    she turned very very red –

    From her cheeks ‘way up to her forehead.

    #885921

    squeak
    Participant

    Oh, do you know the candy man,

    The candy man, the candy man,

    Oh, do you know the candy man,

    That sits in shul and dreis?

    Oh, yes, I know the candy man,

    The candy man, the candy man,

    Oh, yes, I know the candy man,

    Why doesn’t he just pray?

    #885922

    mepal
    Member

    ROTFLMKO! Squeak, those were terrific.

    #885923

    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    when I was a kid the candyman wacked me with his tallis- every time… ya think he was tryin to tell me sumfin?

    #885924

    jphone
    Member

    Little Reb Askan Decided to Pasken

    That shoes may not have any laces

    He ran to Rabbonim, In order to Con Em

    All he got was stunned looks on their faces

    #885925

    bein_hasdorim
    Participant

    Shvigger, Shvigger, in the way,

    How I wonder why you drei!

    Up above the world so high,

    Like a dark cloud in the sky.

    Shvigger, Shvigger, in the way,

    How I wonder why you drei!

    When the blazing sun is gone,

    When there’s nothing he shines upon,

    Then you show your fearful sight.

    Screaming, Yelling, through the night.

    Shvigger, Shvigger, in the way,

    How I wonder why you drei!

    Lurking In the shadows deep,

    Into my business you always creep.

    How you never close your mouth,

    even when the birds fly south.

    Shvigger, Shvigger, if I may,

    Why I wonder do you drei!

    Shvigger, Shvigger, what a day!

    How I wonder when you’ll pay!

    .?? ??????? ??????

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