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1. Ofcourse
   Medium Size Shadchan

   To Whom do you give credit for the most positive change you've ever seen in someone you know well, who was either sinking Frumkeit-wise, or emotionally (other than a relative or close friend of this person) and was resistant to change?

   Was it a Rov, Rebbi, Teacher, Principal, Kiruv Person, Therapist, Life Coach, etc. or other?

   Did they do anything unique?

   Inspirational stories especially welcome.

   I listened to a talk show and they asked a famous Psychiatrist "Who could have helped ~ABC~ (a famous star who wasted their life with drugs, greed and negative influences)"?

   The Psychiatrist replied "Only ~ABC~ could have helped ~ABC~" (only the person themselves could have helped themselves, there has to be a desire to change from within). *ABC replaces the name

   I think the right person, can very much encourage the person to change, especially when there's no money involved.

   Posted 1 year ago #

2. Ofcourse
   Medium Size Shadchan

   Is everyone clueless or just not interested?

   Posted 1 year ago #

3. 600 Kilo Bear
   Otisville-Creedmoore Roov with a Big White Furry Coat

   BS"D

   I can't tell you the name of the person who influenced me the most because he would shoot me if I revealed it.

   Posted 1 year ago #

4. Ofcourse
   Medium Size Shadchan

   600kilobear returns, no need for a name, but can you share what the person did that made them effective?

   Posted 1 year ago #

5. truth be told
   AKA tbt

   My Rabbeim, for me by far. Different things at different times. That's for the human messenger. I've always felt Hashem doing it

   Posted 1 year ago #

6. Ofcourse
   Medium Size Shadchan

   tbt I've always felt Hashem doing it

   Yes, we all do, but there is a Shaliach/Shlichim involved. What did they do?

   Posted 1 year ago #

7. smartcookie
   Member

   The person definitely has to change himself. But sometimes it's good to have a mentor to guide him and open his mind in the right direction.

   I personally, like to learn from my own experiences, or experiences from close family/friends, rather than professionals.

   Posted 1 year ago #

8. aries2756
   Smartness runs in my family.

   After helping many young people I give THEM credit for allowing positive influences into their daled amos, into their lives and actually HEARING what they had to say while others where yapping in their ears with negativity and alternate lifestyle choices.

   It takes courage to push the negativity away and allow the positive energy to permeate your soul. It is a choice they make to reach out and take the lifeline. They don't always do it right away and they don't always do it with everyone that offers it. But it is they that have to make the step and accept the help.

   Posted 1 year ago #

9. Ofcourse
   Medium Size Shadchan

   aries, so you feel people have to realize they have a problem and commit to change, otherwise it's a no-go, is that right?

   If yes, seems like you're in agreement with the Psychatrist I heard on the radio (famous Psychiatrist, Keith Ablow, who wrote a book with Glenn Beck, Seven Wonders) who seemed very smart.

   Posted 1 year ago #

10. smartcookie
    Member

    Ofcourse- you aint gotta be too brilliant to figure that out. Nobody can be helped if they don't want to help themselves.

    Posted 1 year ago #

11. Ofcourse
    Medium Size Shadchan

    smartcoookie Ofcourse- you aint gotta be too brilliant to figure that out. Nobody can be helped if they don't want to help themselves.

    Yeah, but I think that there are very unique individuals who can very ~skillfully~ convince troubled people that there's value in changing, even when they've given up hope and are very stubborn about not changing, without the person realizing that they're being "worked on". If it was all self-help, we wouldnt need Rovs, Rebbis, Teachers, Principals, Kiruv Persons, Therapists, Life Coaches, etc. I think some people have a special talent to bring about change in even the most stubborn cases. What Im asking is what these unique people do.

    Everyone starts by being a good listener, the especially skillful ones employ special tactics in adition to being that, I think.

    Posted 1 year ago #

12. aries2756
    Smartness runs in my family.

    There can be 10 shelichim that approach the same person, and unless that person is ready and willing, no matter how good the sheliach is there is no way they can penetrate that soul. So yes, I am good at what I do, but I don't take credit for turning "my kids" around, they get all the credit!!!

    Posted 1 year ago #

13. ZeesKite
    Because Mommy Said So

    A older friend / role-model.
    I was so captivated by this special's midos and character, that I actually ended up emulating. Slowly, real slowly, but it gradually took place. So for those that think I'm untamed now..

    Posted 1 year ago #

14. brotherofurs
    formula 4 happiness: Attitude of gratitude, Emunah, Giving

    i just heard today that there was a very religious woman who just had a disease that she could not stop herself from stealing. She went to a thearpist that after a few years-Completely cured her! and now she helps other people. :D

    Posted 1 year ago #

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