Shidduch Crisis? What Shidduch Crisis?

Its not a crisis..unless its you / your child / your friend / your sibling that is still single.

(Honestly, Tomche.. where are you coming from?)

You don’t understand. There are a lot more people today so you need a lot more shidduchim. We are a growing population.

The shiduch crisis is the disparity between boys and girls. Average boys get more names than they can deal with, while top girls go for months (or even years) without the phone ringing once. The situation was nowhere near so bad when I and my frineds were in shiduchim (a yovel ago).

There is a Shidduch crisis going on….like bpt commented…

unless you have a child, niece, nephew, sibling, friend that’s in the parsha you might not have a clue as to the crisis.

There are families with older children not yet married, there are families with 3 or 4 daughters in a row dealing with making shidduchim. What’s changed from the European Shtetl and even the years leading up to the mid-1990’s is that the dynamics changed.

Once upon a time before college (touro..etc)or higher education was introduced, the average yeshiva boy and bais yaakov girl (or similar)finished their Jewish schooling and got married…it was more of an insular world. Both were more naive and simple in the ways of the world. Also, the average class size in a frum Yeshiva back then was 25 kids. Today, each grade has at least 4 classes each with over 100 students per grade. (In the shtetl it was a miracle if your large family survived, many children died from dieseases that did not have a cure or pennicillin needed)

With the advent of college, girls are not so naive anymore. They have higher education, became more worldly, have college degrees, had a taste of the working world $$$. Boys have become more materialistic, wanting only beautiful skinny girls and finding a Father-in-law to support. Whereas, once upon a time the word DIET and MANICURES did not exist and plenty girls who were a higher size than size 4 and were not necessarily all “farputzed”, were Boruch Hashem all married bec. the Bochurim were more simple and did not have a criteria list up to the moon back then. We have now also added the many descriptive categories of backgrounds that did not exist once upon a time…like…Yeshivish, Yeshivish-modern, Yeshivish-with a college degree, Litvish with same above descriptions…white shirt, colored shirts…Kollel, Working boy etc.

Bais Yaakov, Bais Yaakov with college degree, Bais Yaakov-modern etc…These lists have added more pressure to the Parsha of Shidduchim. May Hakodosh Boruch Hu bless all of Klal Yisroel who are in need of Shidduchim to find their right Zivug BKOROV!

Maybe some people haven’t matured enough to get married?

(and perhaps they know it…)

please! say it ain’t so! Not again!

Tomche:

You sound like you’re either still in your teens or a stubborn old man.

Tomche – Your OP is correct, but your conclusion isn’t. Since the Frum population has grown by leaps and bounds, there is a Crisis because so much more people aren’t getting married. Example -Nowadays they have org. called Bonei Olam and A Time, both are for infertile couples. What – all of a sudden we in the modern day and age have so many people whom can’t or having trouble having kids?

I’m sure the percentages haven’t changed, if anything they have gotten better. So what’s the problem -why do you need two orgs. for? Because of the tremendous pop. growth, there are much more numbers of people whom need help; same with Shidduchim.

Btw, I need a Shidduch!

PS -Now that I brought up these two orgs., I’d like to make a point. These two infertility orgs. are totally free to the recipient. When it comes to Shidduchim, perhaps there are a few that do it just for Chessed, but by and large most that are doing it expect or demand some sort of compensation!

cherrybim -“Give me one good reason why you think that it should be free to the recipient?”

The same reason help is free for childless couples!

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Uh-oh. This calls for backup.