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I was in a yeshiva last zman which I shtieges very well , however I had a couple of issues , for example davening with yeshiva was a little on the hard side ,and a couple of issues with my rebbe ,he tolf me to leave to another yeshiva , and now here I am there and its college oriented and ,my chavrousas don’t show up half the time example -The jet game , or woke up at 12 , and I am a serious guy but, if since I came there , I started slacking off , since there is no mechayve to learn. And found out after many guys watch movies and have a facebook. The question I am posing to the oylam is should I Push myself to make ita matzav or leave before it gets to me. Either way I don’t plan on staying there long term .
Do both. Push yourself to make it a matzav, and at the same time, look into other yeshivos in which the environment is more conducive to shteiging.
i agree with DY
this is the best suggestion,
YOU can make the yeshiva into a positive Matzav if they all see the value YOU give to learning & you become a role model for them you can save these neshamos from C”V going any further down
Hatzlacha Rabba
It seems from the fact that you posed this question that you still have a desire to make it work which i am unsure if it that’s stemming from the fear of changing your place or if your actually growing in the yeshiva but your not completely happy with your growth. Either way its still impressive because many people would call it quits if they lack good chavrusas and especially if they don’t have a functional relationship with their rebbi. That being said the greatest motivation must come from within -although there are people watching movies it should not necessarily affect you tot the extent that you cant learn . I am obviously not denying the effect of the environment(ex.korach) ,however try to find serious guys who just want to learn and then maybe work on the internalizing the importance of torah and if that doesn’t work maybe try to find a different yeshiva . Often peoples environment affect them more when they are not really motivated by what they do. to quote my rebbi ” You have Man up and grow up”. Hatzlacha and I hope you realize the chasivus of learning and the chesed hashem that comes along with it . you are holding up the world! P.S. don’t count yourself out of long term plan especialy when times are rough. Good luck!!
As it says in Mishlei, if the journey starts off too easy it will lead to a bushel of thorns. however if it starts off with a bushel of thorns the rest of your journey will be clear and easy.
in regards to your chavrusa issues I can vouche for this as I too have had trouble when it came to chavrusas but this pasuk made me feel much better and in the end, it all worked out.
Hatzlacha rabbah KEEP ON PLUGIN’
of course you should leave. how can you make it a matzav if the guys are slackers, you have a bad chavrusa, and you don’t like your rebbe? This is gonna be a long zman (winter+ibber yohr), so I suggest you back out now and not waste the next 5 months. Hatzlacha.
i don’t know the exact situation but hey, you’d have to weigh the pros and cons. If it’s a few issues such as davening in yeshiva vs being in an environment you’re totally uncomfortable in i.e. they are on social media and go to the games and you learn, i guess it’s up to you to decide which is better for you.
If you really wanted to leave, you wouldn’t be asking us. It seems to me that you want to try to make this work. It may or may not work, in spite of your best efforts. Decide what is most important to you; what your priorities are. I agree that you should make a list of pros and cons about this place, and see what adds up. If you feel your davening is compromised, but your learning is good, that is one issue to weigh.
The fact that this is a college-oriented Yeshiva is NOT necessarily a bad thing. Realistically, today’s yeshiva boys have to accept that the money trees are blooming less and less, and the newer generation of young parents, who were supported by working (outside the home) parents, do not have the financial wherewithal to finance the next generation of boys who want to sit and learn. You need to be educated. Everyone needs to be educated, even if only to be able to deal with people outside of our daled amos. We do not live isolated from the rest of the world. Now is as good a time as any to recognize that, or you are in for a rude awakening.
If your chavrusa is MIA, find another chavrusa ASAP. If the bochurim are interested in stuff other than the learning that they are there to be doing, then why not try to be mashpia on them in a pleasant way (not heavy handed and judgmentally). People do need an occasional break. If in the end you feel this does not work for you, then you have some hard decisions to make about finding a yeshica more suited to your needs.
Two quotes from chazal come to mind
1) you will be influenced by your neighbors
2) better the tail of the lion then head of the fox
Leave and leave quickly. Pick some place where you aspire to be like the guys there, that is a way to help ensure growth.
I recently heard a story from Rav Reisman. He was discussing a bochur that left Yeshiva and surprisingly (considering he hadn’t done much in Yeshiva) he was learning a lot. When he asked the young man what was the cause of his growth he responded, “in my neighborhood, if you don’t learn, you are nothing”.
I am troubled that you were asked to leave and that you chose to go to a place that does not sound like a serious learning place. I would not go back to a place that basically kicked you out, and just make a better choice. Your positive reasons for staying don’t sound compelling enough when weighed against the other things you mentioned. How old are you? How long were you at your old yeshiva? Were you given the opportunity to correct your issues before being asked to leave?
I’m sorry to say this but “Ain hadavar taluy ela bi” has to be your motto.
The “mechayav” to learn is “vhigisa bo yomum v’layla” not whatever the other guys are doing
Set yourself a schedule to learn 2 hours more each day than you are now for 1 month and then reconsider the situation.
one of my kids was in a situation that sounds very very similar. and his move was not what he had been hoping, so I totally get what you are asking and I would recommend getting out. It is way too hard to be a “light unto the nations” at your age. You need a group to be a part of, not to lead.
I totally agree that you should leave, either back to where you were, or to a different place that might suit you better. If i understand correctly, he didn’t kick you out, it just isnt always a good shidduch and sometimes a new place gives new life.
we actually just started a brand new place where I live for people who are very serious but arent looking for the Telz mehalach (the other local option). Gd willing it will grow into another midwest option for people who want what you are describing.
Please listen the wise voice of Syag.
You’re much too young to try being a mashpia, which may have the added consequence of leaving you friendless at a new yeshiva.
Wishing you hatzlacha, and hope you find a place that’s a good match for your talents and aspirations.
Think, what does Hashem want me to do? I’m pretty sure I can promise you that He wants you to stay!
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