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I was unaware of the chazal ?? ???? ??? ????? ????? ??? ????. I see the Tzror HaMor citing a Zohar and giving answers as to why Yaakov did this.
To paraphrase you: I thought the simplest explanation is that Esav headed towards Ya’akov after being informed of his presence. He had no way of silently going in.
I always assumed that Esav was the one who started things, as the passuk says?????? ??????? ?????????????…” I took it to mean that Esav had heard about Yaakovs return and came out after him. Chicken or Egg.
I saw this Bechor Shor and thought he was klor like you, that Esav did not come until after the malachim came to him
????? ???? ?????? – ???? ???? ??? ??? ??? ?? ?????? ?????? ???? ????, ???? ?????? ????? ????? ?????? ???? ?? ???. ??? ??? ?????? ??? ??? ????, ??? ???? ????? ????? ??????? ????? ??? ??????
but I still am not clear. While on the way to him, Esav could have heard that Yaakov was coming – so he and his men went out towards them.
That is mashma from the Radak: ??? ???? ?????? – ???? ???? ??, ????? ???? ?????? ????? ??? ??????, ?? ??? ?? ????? ???? ???, ???? ?? ????? ??? ??.
This Rashbam klor says like you, that Esav only came after meeting with the malachim. Its just amazing that they were coming to be mechabed Yaakov, See also Chizkuni.
???? ?? ???? ?? ??? – ????? ?? ?????? ???? ????,
??? ??? ??? ???? ???? ?????? ??????? ????, ???? ?????? ????? ???? ??? ??? – ??????, ??? ???? ?????. ???: ?? ??? ??? ???? ?????? ???? ???? ???? (???? ??:???).
thank you for your questions and good points.