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“No one wants to give kovod to he who seeks it.”
Think about it. I give compliments freely, I see the good in everyone, I respect them. But when there’s someone who’s just fishing for that compliment, that admiration, I could barely grunt out a “good job,” if even.
Now why is that?
I think it’s because I feel, deep down, like I’m being used.Please share your thoughts on this fascinating matter.
To Lanky
I have no problem with handing out compliments. Hey, I like your idea for a thread, and that’s why I’m commenting on it. Let me share a personal experience. I write a weekly Dvar Torah which goes out to two of the shuls I attend. It’s unique because I draw Mussar lessons from rock music. When I started about a year ago a few people complimented me. Lately that’s stopped. I’m tempted to ask these people if they still like what I write, but I’m reluctant to do so, because it will look like I’m fishing for praise. Really, what I’m looking for is feedback so I can improve my writing.
If you’re a genuinely good person you do it even if you feel like you’re being used. It doesn’t cost anything and can be a huge chesed.
It’s only your feelings that are making you feel used, if you view it as your doing them a Chesed because they need the compliment to feel better about themselves you would feel better
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