men and women were created with different tafkidim in this world. Our modern society has flipped those roles and that’s why we no longer value the system the way it was meant to be.
A woman’s nature is to be tzanuah, to care for the home, for the children, to act in a supportive way. A man’s nature is to be out in the world, to do, to work, to deal with the outside world. There was a wonderful (goyish) you tube fifties video that was used in public schools in the fifties and it made so much sense when it was presented this way. Its basic premise was this, everyone in this household has a responsibility, when one becomes lax and fails to fulfill their responsiblity, the household doesn t function as it should. for eg. mother’s job was to clean and cook and do laundry, Brother’s job was to do his homework, and his chores, ie take out the garbage etc. Sister’s job was to help with dinner, prepare salad, set the table etc. and father’s job was to go to work and bring home the paycheck, when anyone of these jobs was not filled properly no one in the house could function. it makes perfect sense.
When you view it as a role or a tafkid, then its not a burden, or un appreciated title. Its what Hashem put you on this Earth to accomplish. Only one of those jobs is Ezer Knegdo. that doesnt define you as a woman, its just one of your many tafkidim. One of the reasons WOmen of the Wall don’t have a leg to stand on, is that the job of a jewish woman, is not to learn all of shas. or daven with a talis and tfillin. thats not what G-d requires of you. Your accomplishments are yours and yours alone, they are achieved when you do the Ratzon Hashem. They may sometimes reflect in the outside world by the accomplisments of your sons and husband, but in the world where they count, they are her accomplishments.
I assume when the Gadols book referred to a woman learning shas as being worthless what he meant to say is that its irelevant to her. its like teh olympic speed skater going to the olympics but competing in curling, it may be an added bonus to win at curling, but if he is a speed skater, and is trained as such, he would be better served by competing in the speed skating competitition.