I think you’re being very bullheaded here.
The distinction made earlier is quite valid. Just because a marriage is about more than the two individuals doesn’t mean that in every case it was supposed to build a Bayis Ne’eman and tragically didn’t. If a spouse is abusive, and not ready to enter any marriage, and it is not feasible for the marriage to work, then it was perhaps a gezeirah on the spouse to have to go through that, but you cannot say that a Bayis is tragically being broken. Your general point may be valid while acknowledging these exceptions.