Softwords – Very well said. Yasher Koach!
I once asked my Rebbe a similar question and he had a similar thought. Nebuch on the society that requires so much money to marry off a daughter. Nebuch on the society that does not allow its members to earn a living to the point where they will not need to ask for Tzedaka. It is most certainly wrong. However, all of that is certainly not the fault of the Ani who is standing before you. He needs it to marry off his daughter, WHO WILL NOT GET MARRIED without the money. Therefore, it certainly is Hachnosas Kallah to give it, and one must allow them to marry off their children (within the gedarim of Hilchos Tzedaka, of course).
Once again, great job.
One caveat: There are Gevirim who without gedarim would literally have people coming to them M’Boker Ad Erev. It is very fair for such people to have a family and Torah life, and not to be bothered during those times.