“That last comment makes you sound very bitter about SOMETHING. Why exactly should an enabler of Torah get all/most of the reward over the ones who learns ?”
I’m not bitter about it. Although my husband learns in a kollel, considering I’m a stay at home mom, I’m probably earning about 4 percent of his schar while he gets the rest.
Why should she get most of the reward? Let’s look at the give and take. A woman who is supporting her husband gives the following:
1) She is mevater on her emotional needs of wanting her husband and instead she sends him to learn, and it is hard for a woman to do this.
2) She takes care of all his physical needs by taking care of the kids and making money so that his only worry should be on finishing the next sugya.
3) She suppresses her feminine nature which desires nice, pretty (expensive) things, which she would most likely be able to afford if her husband went out to work, because she believes that Torah is more special than any jewelry.
4) Her sole ‘me time’ is when she goes to chinese auctions salivating about all the things she will never be able to afford.
While he:
1) Gets to learn Torah for a profession (the greatest pleasure in the world), surrounded by all his friends.
2) Gets kavod every time he figures out a good teiritz.