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#1010666
mmys
Participant

When attending a Shiva the Halacha is that one does not say anything until spoken to or brought into a conversation. I have heard the most horrendous things at a Shiva, mainly because people felt uncomfortable keeping quiet or felt a need to ‘make things better’. If you need to say something, it is best to tell an anecdote about the niftar, something that you personally experienced or witnessed. If you didn’t know the niftar, then asking those sitting shiva, please tell me about (e.g.) your father, is an appropriate statement and allows them the option of opening up and beginning the long journey towards nechama. Giving drashos or vortlach about how special the niftar or the family must be will almost always not be appropriate unless you are extremely great. I don’t know if that is helpful