My dad O”H would always comment about the simcha that was more Bar than Mitzvah. I think a nice and elegant party SHOULD be made, if the family can afford it. But if it becomes a three-ring-circus, with the boy riding in on a motorcycle, or just an excuse for conspicuous consumption, that is not my cup of tea.
We made a beautiful simcha for my oldest son, but it was done on a budget, we had a one man keyboardist, my husband and I made the table arrangements out of small plants that we got at an incredibly affordable price (and every couple at the table got to take one home), and our caterer worked within a limited budget and did a beautiful job.
The focus should be more on the simcha of bringing a child to Torah, and less on how many types of sushi will be served at the smorg.