No-one but no-one can give or should give anyone else advise as every situation is different and it drives me nuts and hurts when well meaning people give their opinions.
I know and have dealt and am currently dealing with various people including some within the extended family who are not just OTD but way off the planet and it is extremely frustrating just to try and reason with them never mind trying to encourage them into yiddishkeit.
My approach is to stay well off the subject of religion, logic, reason and anything else that could result in confrontation, argument or further distance.
I am there when needed, answer questions when asked and am the first to throw my hands up when I cannot give a logical or scientific explanation. I have found the latest tactic of one member of the extended family is to ask me to provide a sound scientific reason in answer to many questions, some of which are just plain stupid. I am unable to do this and have steered away from a direct response as I am sure I am being tested to be pushed into arguments and rows which I am not prepared to do.
My home, family and heart is open to all of those with whom I deal. They know where to find me and I will never shut them out. For me this is the best I offer.
Avoiding the situation of arguments and taking a laid back attitude has helped as they can see they will not get me into confrontation and (I think) I am respected for this as I do not react to situations where I have been embarrased by them (but boy do I bite my tongue, hard!). I do not react in any way negatively but only positively.
They continously tell me how happy they are now – which translates to me: Methinks the man protesteth too much! the more they say how happy they are the more I just nod and smile.
This is very hard but works for me. I need to react like this to stay sane, hard as it is when you are pushed and coerced into confrontation.
But I have seen postive results in the end and so life goes on and so do I
I have no idea if this will give any of you any support or encouragement but I sincerely hope so. I have many grey hairs that people have given me over the years but in the end I think it’ll be worth it.