Reply To: no and loshon hora in shidduchim

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AkivaK
Participant

1. I was almost engaged until a former neighbor, whose daughter is best friends with the potential kallah’s daughter, made it her project to call the daughters of the potential kallah and the shadchan.

2. This neighbor was not asked about the shidduch, nor was she a reference. She did this on her own effort to destroy the shidduch.

3. The kallah did not accept the neighbor’s loshon hora and rechilus, but the daughters did since she was the mother of their best friend.

4. The potential kallah had to choose between a war between her daughters or the shidduch. She is in tears because of the war that this neighbor started and the choice between her happiness and keeping sholom with her daughters.

5. She decided that the marriage is not worth losing the relationship with her daughters.

6. When I had a Rav call this neighbor, who claims that she is frum, she said that she did nothing wrong because she believed my ex-wife’s loshon hora and rechilus, and must know that it’s true because she was my neighbor.

Any serious opinion or advice is welcome. Please no nurishkeit.

Thank you.