Sam2: The example lebidik yankel gave that you’re taking issue with is a situation where he is not telling her to live a lonely life. He is ready and willing, lebidik yankel said, to return to the marriage with her. It is her choice of not accepting that that is resulting in what you describe. She can always accept him if she were in the wrong and return to her existing marriage.
benignuman: That latter din you are describing would only be applicable if it was the husband’s choice of not living and supporting his wife. If he was ready and willing to live and support her but she chose not to accept that, we are not koifeh.