Francorachel3:
You’ve been drinking the kool-aid. I’m very sorry to tell you, but the percentage of false accusations about domestic violence is staggering. The estimates vary between 50-70% being false. All shelters for battered women require charges filed with police. Why? Because this process helps eliminate those accusations that are frivolous. (People mistakenly claim that the sponsoring agencies encouraged police reporting. Actually, it is a requirement of the city government that funds the shelter to insure that those who do not qualify will not be permitted to take up the space that someone who does qualify might need.)
I would never conclude that any report of DV is true or false. Following taking whatever action is needed to insure safety, just in case, there should be some process of investigation to verify whether the accusations have merit. You are correct that some of the perpetrators of DV appear to the public to be “frumme fine mentchen”, and that character witnesses from the shul where they daven are uninformative. You are accurate, but that does not mean there are no false accusations. There are, and the numbers are quite high. If you inquire from the agencies who assist victims of DV, they will confirm that they have men calling as well, and that their cases (by the time they seek outside help) are even more pitiful then the women victims.
Yes, there are lawyers who should be disbarred. I personally know some of them. One, in particular, tends to give up the cases part way, having earned some fees, then allowing another attorney to try his luck. Ask anyone connected to Family Court how many cases of DV get dismissed because of lack of evidence, and outright fabrication. I might not know a lot about other things, but in this case, the information I share is part of “The Little I Know”.
Please notice that I am not commenting about the withholding of the get. I am steadfast against it. However, I would never allow a get to be given if the agreement that settles the affairs of custody, support, division of assets, etc. is incomplete. Whoever holds back on that is the party responsible for delaying the get. And here it is a draw, 50-50. That is fact.