Leibidik, you contradict yourself. First you say she’s not entitled if she’s the aggressor. Then you seem to imply that she can get out but deserves “petch”.
I agree with the second part. The thing is, in judaism, when someone deserves “petch” we let God do the “potching”. Doing it ourselves, purely for the sake of revenge, is completely wrong.
If the marriage is over, not giving a get (with all other things resolved) can only be revenge.
The marriage is over if either party permanently decides so. For any reason.