One time when I was in high school, I was at shul after Yom Tov davening and I accidentally punted a football into the back of an old lady’s head. She was holding a baby and almost collapsed, and was wailing, “take the baby! Take the baby!” It was totally her fault for being in the crossfire of a football game, what was she thinking?!…. No but seriously, it really wasn’t my fault because I kicked the ball straight into a big mass of kids that were playing, but they all stepped aside and split like the Yam Suf, and lo and behold she was sitting down right behind them on a picnic table and took the full kick right to the skull! Luckily all the adults thought it was some little kid who did it, and she even told him later, “wow kid, you have some kick!” He was happy to be recognized as a strong ball kicker, and I was happy to have not been found out, but some of my friends were standing nearby and they saw me do it. They won’t let me live it down. Call us cruel, but seeing some yenta get unexpectedly nailed by a 50 mile an hour football to the back of the head is the funniest thing in the world at the time, embarrassing or not!
Menu