Those are very loaded questions. And before I attempt to answer them, I want to say something else. You feel like a loser but seriously, these questions prove exactly the opposite. Youre obviously a very deep thinker who is constantly working on himself to become a better person. Thats extremely admirable. I can guarantee you that all those real losers who make you feel bad about yourself dont have the golden character that you have. So a friendship usually begins when two people have something in common. It could be something simple like a habit or something deeper like an experience. It usually starts off slowly and as time goes by you learn to trust each other and you grow closer. When your friends talk to other people its very logical to feel like theyre putting you down. You might be scared of rejection. I totally get you when you say that its a horrible feeling when you feel like you own them. I feel that way too sometimes when my friends talk to other people especially since a few of my friends dropped me in the beginning of the year. Sometimes I catch myself getting so nervous and scared that the next friend is going to drop me so I exercise a lot of self control and leave my friends alone. And then I realize something. The fact that your friends feel able to go talk to others shows that they trust you that youll always accept them back. It proves that they feel comfortable with you and that they dont feel like they need to please you all the time because youre real friends. Its actually a comoliem for you! When you say that you feel like a fake, what do you mean? In terms of yiddishkeit, as a person, that your actions are based on what others want from you? Please explain
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