Personally my opinion is that the person in the world who loves and cares about you most right now is your mother. Seeing as nobody posting on here is your mother(unless your mother posts) I would advise you to talk to your mother about these thought and feelings as opposed to strangers who dont have anything against you but also have nothing to do with your life. The coffeeroom is to talk and get opinions however you should not ask advice on life-altering topics. You need to talk to someone who really knows and cares about you!
This goes for all other topics too. It drives me crazy when I see questions that can change a persons life. Do you go to random strangers on the street and ask if you should marry a boy you just met?? NO because thats ridiculous