feif un – They believe that love does not come beforehand, it only comes after a marriage, when the couple spends years together
Any sources to prove this info? we got engaged through the traditional chassidic method and it definitely didn’t take us years to cultivate a beautiful loving marriage b”h. all the hard work my parents put into finding out if my future wife was indeed compatible with my personality, views and dreams were not for naught.
of coarse chassidishe are in for surprises after marriage, but so is everyone, including the secular world! and with divorce being the very last option, we give our marriages a chance to stick it out when the going gets rough. there are many instances in our circles where couples matured and grew after clashes that would be very likely to lead to divorce in other crowds.(divorce is not a total no-no when situation gets really bad, though. workaholic’s divorced sibling proves that.)
Shlomo Hamelech wisely said in Mishlei ?? ?? ????? ???? ???? – love blocks all sins. when choosing a partner to share life with, we do not need love to blind us.the parents, thinking without the natural opposite gender attraction getting in the way, choose someone their child is likely to love and eventually come to look at with “eyes half closed”. the child then goes ahead and sees if initial attraction is present, and if so they have as many good chances to have a beautiful life together as anyone, with syatte dishmaye.