“It’s only a problem if the children become chutzpah like a niddah! “
I must take issue with that characterization. My mother-in-law of blessed memory never went to the mikvah in her life. I promise you, you could not find a more derech eretzdig person if you combed the world.
On the day she had what would turn out to be a mortal stroke, I had an intuition something was up. I normally called her every day, and when I spoke to her, her speech seemed slightly slurred to me. Her son-in-law had passed away suddenly three weeks prior, and she was deeply affected by his death. So when she really sounded “off” to me, I made my husband spend Shabbos with them (though they were not frum). I sent food, challah and grape juice with him. They had paper goods and plastic ware for whenever we came over. My intuition proved correct, as this was the last Shabbos she lived.
She was totally blind and bedridden, so she normally had her TV or radio on all day, as it was her lifeline to the outside world. When my father-in-law O”H wanted to put the tv on for her, she told him adamantly, “No! J. is here and it’s Shabbos.” The TV did not go on. I want to emphasize my husband did not request that the TV not be turned on. It was totally from her, out of respect for her frum son being there on Shabbos. Essentially, she became a baalas teshuvah just before she died. I would never in a million years classify this remarkable woman as a chutzpahdig niddah. It comforted my husband greatly, when she was nifteres three days later, to realize that her last conscious act was to be mekadeish Shabbos.