a few points to ponder-
There are many BT’s who really know how to “fit in” and integrate that you would NEVER guess that they are BT’s or that they’re parents are. Sometimes, I am not generalizing, but sometimes you’ll find that BT’s or they’re children and families are more frum and more makpid than ffb’s. Sometimes you’ll find that they’re the one’s who really “get it” (i mean ‘get’ and truly appreciate yiddishkeit)i’ve had a few experiences where i saw this clearly.
I think a lot of the “discrimination” besides for the tahara thing comes from the fact that the BT’s don’t blend in, and stay with their “hashkafos” and ways of thinking and try to combine it with Torah and yiddishkeit. I’ve seen this many times and instead they end up mixed up/with mixed up kids.
Talking about kiruv and stuff- lets work on ourselves and the kedusha itself spreads. If one is in kiruv – im sure you heard the saying – while your doing kirvu rechokim make sure your not being marchik the krovim