I am a Gerus and my husband a BT. It has been hard for us marriage wise because neither of us has any frum family support and not a lot is offered in the community for couples like us. We didn’t find a Rabbi to adopt us or an FFb family to guide us in our journey which would have been great. I notice that most stable BT’s have other BT family members. I have watched a BT marriage fall apart which didn’t have support. I think BT marriages need more than just each other for support. I think BT’s are “shaking” not only from fear of Hashem but from insecurity in the community, feeling not accepted by the Frum community, feeling like they don’t fit in. and judgementalism really hurts from FFB’s and BT’s, i actually find other BT’s very judgmental sometimes. too many are focused on externals.
FFb’s seem very busy and happy with their own big frum families and their frum lives, they don’t seem to know what to say to us…….we’ve noticed we have only been invited to an FFb home for a meal once since moving to our neighborhood which is very Yeshevish…. only other BT’s have invited us. my husband and I kind of understand this. people are happiest around people of similar ilk, we don’t have similar experiences and interests and of course very different family backgrounds, so maybe there isn’t much to talk about?? frankly, I wouldn’t know what to say to them. I have so many family situations that they can’t relate to and I am use to….
you have to do the best you can do and remember why you became frum/Jewish in the first place. have emunah and be nice and friendly and you’ll attract other nice and friendly families. whether FFb or BT