“50% of baseball fans don’t get to come out onto the field with the ball players”
Aha! So it’s all about “It’s unfair! If the men get to do it, then the women should to.” If 50% can do it, then the other 50% should to. If the men don’t do it, then it’s okay if the women don’t.
So to a ballgame or concert you’d be happy to merely cheer along in the crowd. After all they don’t “discriminate”. If the concert would allow the men in the audience — and only the men — unto the stage with the singers, would that change alone make the concert more boring? No, but it would make it “unfair”. But a Simchas Torah event in shul is a bore? Even if the system was that only the rabbi(s) danced with the Torah (similar to a concert or ballgame where only the singers or ballplayers participate) and everyone else, men and women, just watched the rabbis dance with the Torah, it would be no less objectively boring to you than if all the men danced. (It could even be strongly argued it would be more boring for the women if only the rabbis danced and the entire shul of other men [including the women’s husbands and fathers] did not dance.) So in reality what bothers you is the discrimination.
So why would singers dancing on stage in a concert hall make you joyful yet ehliche yidden singing and dancing in shul with the Torah “doesn’t make me joyful”, as you said? The discrimination not the lack of participation.
The Siyum HaShas is a sellout every time with there not being sufficient seating for all wishing to attend, even though each cycle they keep renting out the newest largest available venue in the Tri-State area.