I personally find this topic very intriguing. Lior, you have made some excellent points as have many others who disagree with you.
As a musician, I have played at many weddings (Baruch Hashem) and I have observed the following scene many times. During the dancing, the kalla will go over to the men’s side and sit next to chassan. Most of the time that she is there, most of the people watch, clap, and are genuinely happy at that moment. Yet, all they are doing is observing. The joy on Simchos Torah, should be at least as great as that time. Those observing, should be thrilled to witness such a joy. In today’s society, unfortunately many do not feel such a love and connection to Hashem and the Torah, that they can not feel the true spirit of the day. May we all be Zoche to feel the Simcha together in Yerushalayim Bikarov.