Reply To: I'm not a kid

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Oomis, the OP presented his point in a joking manner, but I don’t think he’s playing with us.

The fact is, this is a Kibbud that is usually given to a younger bachur. The problem is that a man of 30 or 40 or 50 who isn’t married, is still considered a bachur. And may actually feel uncomfortable to be called up to the Torah, bifnei am v’eidah, at a point where it’s common to see a young man proudly sporting his first Borsalino.

The embarrassment is similar (forgive me if I’m wrong, Miss Haifa) to haifagirl’s discomfort (mentioned in a different thread) when her friend’s children call her by her first name, and call their mother’s married friends who are 20 years younger than haifag, “Mrs X”.

People who have not yet been zoche to stand under the Chuppa with their bashert want to be respected as normal, adult members of our society, not as overgrown (possibly graying) childen. That’s the respect the OP is requesting, oomis.

I think that what threw you off course is the fact that there is a Sefer Torah involved in the discussion. And Kavod Torah does have precedence. But I didn’t notice any intended bizayon (Ch”v’Sh) here. Just a request for consideration, and recognition of the fact that the OP is a mature adult.

With all the hype about the catastrophe (not my word, coined by someone far more chashuv than me) facing our older single ladies, it’s understandable that the men who find themselves in the same predicament feel somewhat invisible. They have all these askanim pointing out to them, in large colorful ads, that they don’t actually exist. Or, if they do in fact find they have a pulse, and see a reflection in the mirror, it must mean there’s something seriously wrong with them.

So Popa may or may not have been joking (I don’t think so), but I have to agree with him.