PurimMashgiach:
I don’t really understand what “pretend to be offended” means.
Regardless of whether oomis did or did not understand what you meant, “you gotta relax” is still not an appropriate response. Maybe you should clarify what you meant if you really think she didn’t get it.
catch yourself:
I agree with this: “Just knowing that everyone around you is (usually) trying to do the right thing in the best way they know how should help you realize that no slight was intended.”
But it doesn’t mean that people who do take offense should be responded to by having their feelings disregarded. It’s unrealistic to expect everyone to have the above attitude, and it’s not proper to push people away or imply that they have no right to feel the way they do.