Goq AND Popa, as I think I mentioned, that was precisely what happened to me as a 21 year old single female, when I was invited to my not-so-close relative’s daughter’s wedding, SPECIFICALLY (so the baal simcha said)so that I could meet the chosson’s single friends for shidduch purposes. I was however, seated at the kid’s table, the oldest child being Bar-mitzvah age. So I DO know what it feels like, but you are mamesh comparing apples and oranges, and it frankly surprises me that you don’t see a difference between the two scenarios.
There is no question that a single adult being seated with little kids at a simcha OR the Shabbos tisch, (and especially under such circumstances as mine were), was wholly inappropriate. That is absolutely not the same as giving a kibud to someone that if often given to teenage boys. The kibud itself is NOT insulting, and should not be viewed that way in my humble and honest opinion, and though I feel for the OP who is single, who clearly takes issue with this. I also think too much has been made of this and people are overthinking it. Adults should not be treated like children. But a kovod related to the Torah should not be treated lightly, no matter WHAT the reason is.
And for all the Gabbaim out there who have possibly unkowingly and unintentionally embarrassed or insulted single men by only giving g’lilah to kids, take note of this discussion and STOP doing that. The kovod should be given to any male over the age of 13, and not only to a specific demographic.
OP, I apologize, if I made you feel I am not understanding your point and was unduly critical of your post. I do stand by my belief that there is no such thing as a “bad” kibud relating to Torah, but I get it.