I think most Chareidim are appreciative of the sacrifices of IDF soldiers. In Bnai Brak and elsewhere, during the summer’s Gaza war, women in those communities were baking Challah and having it delivered to the Gaza area for the soldiers. Many did other things as well. The whole Nations was involved in bringing food, clothing and other personal needs to the soldiers.
I spend a lot of time in Chareidi neighborhood over Shabbosim. From the people I spoke with, the consensus is that the Shuls don’t make a Mishabeirach for the Chayalim for political reasons.
The problem is that it’s the insane actions of the few that are projected on the whole since it makes good headlines, but the reality differs from that.