“If someone didn’t know how to learn, would he “have a right” to be angry at frum society for valuing talmud Torah?”
He would have a right to be angry at frum society for the manifestation of the value in such a way that someone who is lacking it feels worthless. For instance it would be much better for said person if while pedestalizing talmud torah, they would also pedestalize something else such as chessed (albeit maybe not to the same extent) that those who can’t learn Torah can do. But very often the way society portrays its values (which I agree are important and good values) is in such a way as to make everything else seem unimportant in comparison. I don’t think the letter writer is blaming society for valuing marriage/family. She is blaming society for the way it emphasizes these things to the point that it appears as if someone who lacks these things is an object deservant of pity.