Syag,
The difference between you and shidduchim101 (welcome to the CR!) is the following statement from her:
You were able to be strong, and value yourself for who you were. Our society hasn’t done much to directly label what it means to be an older single, it’s an indirect product of the great value we place on marriage. It’s a tough thing to be excluded, but you were able to get along fine, as you say, you “didn’t mind”.
So is it about anger/blame towards frum society, or is it about the “older” single valuing herself and her important role, right now, to not feel an outcast?