Reply To: Why should I go to sem?

OOM: There are a LOT of girls from my school going to Machon Raaya- not going to say how many as it’ll give away where I go. My Pratchettian friend (the only other Pratchettian I know of in my school) wants to go to Michlalah.

The people who are telling me to go (like my parents, my aunts and uncles, my friends- people I trust, even if not all of them know what they’re talking about, cuz I don’t either) tell me I should go because it’s an amazing experience. One of the people I asked is actually a rebbetzin (I didn’t ask her in that capacity, though) whose rebbetzinship means that she’s asked about this a lot- she generally tells people to go and says they usually thank her for it.

My mom tells me to talk to people who have gone to sem. Most people I know of who’ve gone to sem, like my cousins, went to really Bais Yaakovy sems, like BJJ, Bnos Chava, etc. I have nothing against schools like these, except that because of the people I know of who went there I know enough about the schools to say that I don’t think I’m their type.

My issue is that most of the people who are telling me to go because it was an amazing experience only say that because it was amazing for THEM and they loved it and it’s an irreplaceable experience. I haven’t really encountered people who didn’t like it. Maybe that’s a point in favor… But still, that doesn’t really mean that I’D like it as much as they did, or that there’s not some other experience that could be just as life-altering for me.

Anyway, here are my pros and cons so far. If anyone has any comments or additions, I’m all ears.

PROS:

I love Israel and would love to live there for a year. I’ve only been there once, with no plans in the near future to return except for sem.

I don’t want to lose my friends (I’m terrible at keeping in touch) and I would totally want to keep them around.

I love to learn.

Everyone will stop nagging me. (Okay, not REALLY…)

CONS:

I don’t want 13th grade. I don’t want another year of tests, and assignments, and uniform/dress code (though I can bend on that if it’s not TOO bad because I can’t expect everything), I don’t want to be brainwashed- actually, more on that later.

If I go to any college besides Stern or Touro, I lose a year of college (to the best of my knowledge- I’d love to be wrong, even though there ARE some colleges that don’t take outside credits at all). As I’m considering pre-med, that’s a big deal for me.

I have my own views, and I don’t mind sharing them, which doesn’t always endear me to people. It’s more that I have a very out-of-the-box viewpoint and I don’t mind debating people on their views. The argumentativeness is something I’m working on cutting down on, because I’m aware it’s not always very appreciated, but I’ll go bonkers if I sit all year in a bais yaakovish sem trying to let everything go over my head and not say anything, like my mom tells me I should. My head would explode. I want to learn, but I don’t want the learning shoveled into my ear, either, and I don’t want to have to let it all trickle out the other ear or force it to stay in my brain and not be able to ask about it.

I want to be done with mandatory school. I hate programs. I hated being a camper, but I love being a counselor. College is a necessary evil, though it is much freer than my other school environments. I don’t want to go to a seminary that will really restrict me.

I know my cons seem much more than my pros- I really don’t think so, though. They just need more explaining.

So, to sum up, I need (maybe want, but then again we are talking about something I don’t NEED to do, which means why not go for all I can get?) an accepting sem with a lot of freedom, the ability to ask questions, lots of challenging LEARNING (nothing spoon-fed- what’s amazing is learning bechavrusa with a friend and FINALLY figuring out what the meforash is saying- EUREKA!), no uniforms, homework, or tests, very open-minded, fun, and preferably in Yerushalayim :).

Can’t you see the list of those seminaries just growing and growing and growing?…

Ironically enough, my uncle who does sem guidance for a modern school says that he knows of a bunch of schools of the type that I’m probably thinking of, but hashkafically and socially they’re probably not my type.

SO should I just ditch it?