This scenario is unfortunately very far from uncommon. Our current chinuch system believes that is a behavior that is best treated with discipline, punishment, etc. This is a myth. Even Shlomo Hamelech made passing mention about discipline as something that should not be abandoned, not as an ideal or a staple of chinuch. On the contrary, he concludes that famous, overused posuk ???? ???? ???? ??? with the ending ?????? ???? ????. Thus, even the ??? ??? ??? guides us to be the loving rebbe (and parent), not the punishing one. No, I’m not making this up. Please refer to the brilliant words by Rav Wolbe ZT”L on this subject.
Bottom line is that the kid who is talking back to the rebbi is communicating a critical message. That rebbi’s responsibility is not to modify the behavior through consequences, but to explore it. Why is this kid upset. Am I claiming that the rebbi has the role of a therapist? Sort of. When that rebbi will understand what makes this kid tick, the child will feel understood, and won’t need to resort to chutzpah.
I am not condoning unacceptable behavior. But I think poorly of the rebbi who resorts to punishment or other forms of discipline at almost any provocation. Kids are kids, and punishing them just make them have why to rebel.
Here comes a controversial statement. If one studies the backgrounds of kids who are OTD, one of the glaring commonalities is that they have been disciplined, often too harshly, often unfairly or undeserving of it, but always in a way that was personally rejecting by a rebbi who had zero training how to address the kid. I fault the mosdos for hiring the untrained faculty, and I fault the parents for allowing such treatment of their kids to continue. Discipline has its place, but there is no mechanech alive who can match wits with Shlomo Hamelech who made discipline a last resort.
There are yeshivos who boast having rebbeiim who will find an excuse to smack up talmidim towards the beginning of the school year to “show who is boss”. They then lie about how the rest of the class idolizes that rebbi years later. Such behavior is against halacha. Torah was not intended to be crammed in a child who would then reject it revengefully. In fact, the best method of teaching is modeling. The rebbe taking harsh action instead of addressing the kids’ needs is poor teaching, probably malpractice, and against halacha. For those wishing to attack my controversial statements, I ask one thing. Study the many seforim on chinuch (available at many seforim stores), the ones authored by (or compiled from the writings and shiurim of) many Gedolei Yisroel, such as Rav Shach, the Nesivos Shalom, Rav Wolbe,Rav Zilberstein, Rav Aharon Friedman, Pinsk-Karlin Rebbe, Rav Gamliel Rabinovitch, Rav Glikman, and many others. Then when we have these Torah sources that are totally opposed to the approach that is so commonplace in our yeshivos, we will debate. No one is taking me on. The opposition is this array of Gedolim.